Friday, September 19, 2014

The Moments that Mean the Most

Not a day goes by without me at some point during the day thinking, "This is why I'm so lucky to get to be at home now.  Little moments like this."  Each day at some point I'm reminded what a gift this life I am now able to live is.  What amazing moments I get to experience that I missed before while Carter was at daycare.  Each night around the time I would normally arrive home with Carter I am amazed again at how little time I actually had with my precious boy before.  Those moments remind me to reflect and appreciate the sacrifices that Ty made for us to get here.  He left an industry that he loved although he was underappreciated and overworked and took a risk not just at a new job, but within a new industry.  I know how scary a job change is even when it is within the same career path.  It was hard at first and I could tell he missed his old job, but he has come to love what he does and enjoys his co-workers including his boss who is constantly praising him and reminding him what a great asset he is to the company.  What a change from his past job!  While the change in our budget has been scary to both of us, it has been so worth it.  I think it's easier for me accept the loss of income because I see first hand the benefits of staying at home.  For me it was never the missing the firsts that bothered me like other working moms talked about.  I honest to goodness didn't miss any firsts and if I had my mentality was, even if he does something at daycare first when I see it it will be the first time for me.  It was everything.  Those little moments that slip by so fast and even faster when you aren't there.  The cute smiles, the giggles, the wiping the face, singing songs as we wash our hands.  Those were the moments I didn't want to miss and they are the moments I appreciate the most now. 
Little moments like watching him read!

Carter has been absolutely hilarious lately and his personality kills me.  He is just so stinkin cute and funny and sweet and loving.  Sometimes I just look at him and am amazed that anything so perfect can exist.  There's nothing better than living life with him.  I'd like to share some of the "This is why I'm so lucky to be at home right now.  Little moments like this" experiences lately.

I'll start with this morning.  I was putting away laundry and packing for our trip to my hometown for my 10 year high school reunion (it's hard to believe it's been that long).  Carter sat on the bed wearing one of Ty's hats he pulled off his hat rack, pretending to read a chapter book he pulled off Ty's night stand.  Then he came to the end of the bed, picked up the camera case, said "mommy", and handed it to me.  I looked at him and asked if he wanted me to wear it.  He said yes so I draped it over my shoulder and strutted my stuff.  He broke out in the biggest smile and exclaimed, "Mommy pretty!  Pretty mommy!"  How could I have ever lived my life before missing out on being called pretty by my sweet little boy randomly at 9am!?!

The other day when Ty was getting the Halloween basket out of the attic Carter stood at the bottom of the ladder yelling "Daddy!!!!" over and over.  Ty was out of breath and moving totes around so I told Carter, "Daddy's busy he'll talk to you when he comes down."  Then Carter started chanting, "Busy, daddy's busy!"  This morning we were sitting on the floor putting together a puzzle and Carter looked at me and said quizzically, "Daddy busy?" and I said, "Yes, daddy's at work.  He'll be home tonight."  He accepted my answer and kept on with his puzzle.  It was so cute to see him wondering about his daddy during the day. 

On a Tuesday, the day I tutor in the evening, Carter was walking around eating an apple.  He was walking down the hallway right by the door as Jeremy knocked on the door because he watches Carter while I tutor.  The knock scared Carter and he jumped, throwing his apple into the air as he did so.  Then he turned, looked at his apple, pointed, and said "uh oh".  It was one of the funniest things I'd seen in a long time!

Carter loves cheese and gets so excited when I give him cheese with a meal or as a snack that he exclaims "yay" when he sees it.  Most of our conversations during lunch, since we typically have sandwiches with cheese on them, go like this:
Carter (C): Cheese!!!!  Yay!!!!!  Cheese!!!!! (then he eats said cheese off his sandwich before eating the rest of his food).
C: More cheese!
Me (M): Not right now, Carter, you need to eat your peas first.
C: Cheese!  More cheese!
M: You can have another piece after you eat your peas.
C: Cheese! (then he begins to shovel peas in his mouth along with the other food on his plate)
M: Thank you for eating your peas.  That is healthy.  Now you can have another piece of cheese.
C: Yay!  Cheese! (begins giggling as he watches me get cheese out of the fridge)
M: Here's your cheese, this is the last piece.
C: Thank you! (gobbles up the cheese)
C: More cheese?!
M: No Carter, no more cheese, all done.
C: Cheese?  Peese.  (in a sad dejected tone)
M: Sorry, Carter, no more cheese.
Then he's ready to get out of his booster seat and take off playing.

Of course there are all those moments where Carter puckers his lips and wants a kiss just because.  There are the moments watching him read books, solve problems, and learn new things.  Watching him run from the exit of the tape tunnel at the Children's Museum to the entrance, so excited to do it all over again!  Seeing him interact with other children at the park, the museum, at playdates, in the library.  Watching him dance and wiggle and giggle.  Seeing him play with Harper, kiss her, and love on her.  Some of the moments I love the most are holding him and snuggling him as I read to him and rock him before bed and naptime.  I am thankful for all of those moments and I am a so glad I get to keep experiencing them.  Life just keeps getting better!  I love you, Ty, thank you!