|My sweet, easy going, little boy!|
Thank goodness Carter made the transition easy because it was hard for me. I thought I was fine with it and convinced myself I was excited for the independence it would create, but I was sad deep down. I didn't realize it until I called the milk bank I have been donating to. I had planned to continue pumping until I had enough milk to make one last donation. I was at 40 ounces, needed at least 50 more to donate, and I knew there was no way it was happening. So I called to let them know I wouldn't be able to make another donation. When I got off the phone Ty could tell from my mood I was upset. He was worried the worker had tried to make me feel bad for not donating anymore. I assured him that was not the case and then I began crying. That's when I realized I wasn't upset about not making another donation, I was upset to be totally done breast feeding. As much as I hated to pump, I wasn't quite ready to let go.
Nursing was what I loved. I loved the snuggle time with Carter. I loved that it provided me with a chance to hold him even when we had visitors vying for him. I loved that I was providing Carter with antibodies and reducing his risk for asthma and allergies. It really wasn't ever too painful for me and I never had any complications such as mastitis or thrush. The only pain I had breast feeding other than when I first started was when Carter would bite me! So it was hard to say good bye. Not just because I loved to nurse, but because it meant Carter was a little less of a baby, a little more of a toddler, and just a smidgeon more independent.
Now that Carter's been fully weaned for a week I'm so glad. He's such a big boy and loves to drink from his sippy cup. He is completely off bottles. He's been drinking from a sippy cup at daycare and at home for almost a month now. I decided to go ahead and use up the frozen milk I still had in the freezer before introducing him to cow's milk and we finished off the last bag today.
I've been finding joy in the little advantages of weaning. Things like being able to wear a regular bra instead of a nursing bra, wearing dresses that I didn't before because the only way for Carter or my pump to gain access was by lifting the whole dress, and most importantly NO MORE PUMPING!!!! I have such a love/hate relationship with that thing. It's heavy, it's cumbersome, I had to take it to and from work every day, it's hard to hear over, I got tired of cleaning the parts every day. I'm sure I could write a whole post about why I'm so glad to be done pumping! But it allowed me to do something that was so important to me, provide Carter with breast milk after I went back to work which means the world to me. So although I did a happy dance once I'd washed and sterilized all the parts one last time and packed that baby away in Carter's closet not to return until a far distant day, I do look at it lovingly. I feel like that sucker (didn't intend to make that pun, but laughed as I re-read) and I have been through a lot.
I'm sure weaning a baby is never an easy feat, but it has to be said that weaning during the holidays is just not fair. Going from burning all those extra calories a day to sweets, treats, and delicious food around all the time has been rough on my midsection. I figured when I weaned I would gain a few pounds back and I've done that and more. I've gained 5 pounds since we started the weaning process, I'm sure most of it due to my overindulgence during the holidays. Now I'm 3 pounds under pre-pregnancy weight instead of 8 so I guess I can't kick myself too much! All that being said, I'd do it all over again in a heart beat. And hopefully I will some day.