2 Months Postpartum

Written May 21st

My biggest take away from this month has been how much I forgot about this time period after Carter was born.  Or I guess I should say how much I forgot about myself and my body. I remember a lot about Carter as a 2 month old! I forgot how disgusting it feels to have a jiggle around my midsection and how gross I feel when I try to button my pants only to discover a muffin top protruding above the waist band.  The first month postpartum I didn't mind too much because I basically just wore dresses and yoga pants the entire time.  Now that I'm feeling better and more rested I've been wanting to wear jeans and they just aren't complimentary. My thighs are also bigger causing my shorts to get eaten while I run. What can you do?! I understand it comes with the territory so I don't want to complain, just want others to know I have the same problem! It's been nice having my best friend just a month behind me postpartum because she reminds me almost everyone has this issue, it's not just me because I gained too much or haven't worked hard enough to lose it.

1 Month Postpartum

2 Months Postpartum

This month I added in yoga to help strengthen my pelvic muscles.  The first time I did yoga my pelvic muscles were so sore the next day on my run I actually had to add walking segments into my run.  I can definitely feel my muscles strengthening back up and I'm not sore running anymore.  This past week I cut back on exercising because my bleeding got heavy again.  At my 6 week appointment I told my doctor I was still bleeding and he said I may have irritated the area where the placenta separated from my uterus, causing me to bleed more.  The bleeding was fairly light but then picked up to a bit heavier so I backed off.  I had been running and doing yoga every day plus walks with the dog and other activities such as park play and walking at the aquarium, etc along with carrying Elise in the baby carrier a lot and sometimes even carrying both children.  I decided to stop doing yoga for a week to see if my bleeding would slow down and I haven't had any bleeding in 6 days!  I plan to add yoga back in next week and hope I don't have any issues.

Walking to the library with Carter.

Running has been going so well!  One day I took off and was a bit bored with just doing mileage so I decided to add in some pick ups.  It felt great to run a bit faster for segments of my run.  Then I started doing runs where I tried to make each half-mile faster than the previous one.  After having done that for a while I then tried doing quarter mile repeats.  One day last week I waited to run until Ty got home because Carter was desperate to play in the backyard and I felt bad making him go for a run instead.  Since I was running without a stroller I thought, why not try some quarter repeats.  I was shocked when I was able to hit 7:20-7:30 pace for my quarters!  Today on my run I did quarters again and on the second half hit 7:20-7:30 pace pushing to double stroller! My longest run has been 4 miles.  After the 5k at one month postpartum I decided to drop back down to 2 miles a day until I felt ready to run longer.  Then I added a mile a week to my "long run" and am up to 4 miles.  I want to take it slow especially because I asked a lot of my body getting up to 3 miles so quickly and running a 5k just under a month after Elise was born.

The double stroller hasn't been too difficult.  I don't notice it being bigger or more difficult to maneuver than the single.  Then I did a run with Carter in the single stroller and I felt so light and free.  It was crazy what a difference it was!  I'm really bad about not noticing when my tires need aired up.  I had a week of running that was just terrible.  The stroller seemed so hard to navigate and my arms felt weak.  I was running 11-11:30 minute miles and getting super frustrated.  Then one day I ran with Ty and he took the stroller for part of the run.  He told me I needed to air up the tires as they were super low! I did before my next run and suddenly I was back to running my regular pace!

My running buddies!

I stalled out with my weight gain this month.  I'm still 12 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight with 18 pounds lost.  I was frustrated at first because I was trying to track what I ate and really make sure I wasn't consuming too many calories, but also making sure I wasn't ever too hungry.  I figure if I'm hungry my body needs the calories and I don't want to cause any problems with my milk production as it is above and beyond what Elise needs at this point and I'd like to keep it that way!  I had been weighing myself weekly, but stopped.  I would realize I hadn't lost any weight and think, "If I'm not losing any weight I might as well eat another scoop of ice cream," and that was just counterproductive!  I remember 2-7 months being frustrating for me with Carter as well because I just couldn't lose the last bit of weight.  But then I ended up losing that weight plus some eventually getting down to 8 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight.  It's nice to know that so I can cut myself some slack!

Officially Weaned

Carter has been fully weaned for about a week now.  It's hard to believe that it's only been a week.  It seems like it has been longer.  I guess because we've been slowly taking out nursing sessions one at a time.  It was easy in the sense that Carter was ready.  He didn't mind each time I dropped a nursing session.  There were a couple days at bedtime when he reached for my shirt and pulled on it and then dived into my chest with his mouth open, but other than that he didn't even seem to notice.

My sweet, easy going, little boy!

Thank goodness Carter made the transition easy because it was hard for me.  I thought I was fine with it and convinced myself I was excited for the independence it would create, but I was sad deep down.  I didn't realize it until I called the milk bank I have been donating to.  I had planned to continue pumping until I had enough milk to make one last donation.  I was at 40 ounces, needed at least 50 more to donate, and I knew there was no way it was happening.  So I called to let them know I wouldn't be able to make another donation.  When I got off the phone Ty could tell from my mood I was upset.  He was worried the worker had tried to make me feel bad for not donating anymore.  I assured him that was not the case and then I began crying.  That's when I realized I wasn't upset about not making another donation, I was upset to be totally done breast feeding.  As much as I hated to pump, I wasn't quite ready to let go.

Nursing was what I loved.  I loved the snuggle time with Carter.  I loved that it provided me with a chance to hold him even when we had visitors vying for him.  I loved that I was providing Carter with antibodies and reducing his risk for asthma and allergies.  It really wasn't ever too painful for me and I never had any complications such as mastitis or thrush.  The only pain I had breast feeding other than when I first started was when Carter would bite me!  So it was hard to say good bye.  Not just because I loved to nurse, but because it meant Carter was a little less of a baby, a little more of a toddler, and just a smidgeon more independent.

Now that Carter's been fully weaned for a week I'm so glad.  He's such a big boy and loves to drink from his sippy cup.  He is completely off bottles.  He's been drinking from a sippy cup at daycare and at home for almost a month now.  I decided to go ahead and use up the frozen milk I still had in the freezer before introducing him to cow's milk and we finished off the last bag today. 

I've been finding joy in the little advantages of weaning.  Things like being able to wear a regular bra instead of a nursing bra, wearing dresses that I didn't before because the only way for Carter or my pump to gain access was by lifting the whole dress, and most importantly NO MORE PUMPING!!!!  I have such a love/hate relationship with that thing.  It's heavy, it's cumbersome, I had to take it to and from work every day, it's hard to hear over, I got tired of cleaning the parts every day.  I'm sure I could write a whole post about why I'm so glad to be done pumping!  But it allowed me to do something that was so important to me, provide Carter with breast milk after I went back to work which means the world to me.  So although I did a happy dance once I'd washed and sterilized all the parts one last time and packed that baby away in Carter's closet not to return until a far distant day, I do look at it lovingly.  I feel like that sucker (didn't intend to make that pun, but laughed as I re-read) and I have been through a lot.

I'm sure weaning a baby is never an easy feat, but it has to be said that weaning during the holidays is just not fair.  Going from burning all those extra calories a day to sweets, treats, and delicious food around all the time has been rough on my midsection.  I figured when I weaned I would gain a few pounds back and I've done that and more.  I've gained 5 pounds since we started the weaning process, I'm sure most of it due to my overindulgence during the holidays.  Now I'm 3 pounds under pre-pregnancy weight instead of 8 so I guess I can't kick myself too much!  All that being said, I'd do it all over again in a heart beat.  And hopefully I will some day.