Hello 2016

This New Year we were reminded of many things as 2016 rolled around. We ran the Race into the New Year 5k and I was reminded how good it felt to push my body to the limits and how great it felt to run a time I am genuinely proud of. On the first day of the new year we dressed Elise up in an adorable outfit, threw party hats on both the kids, and were reminded what a gift these babies of ours are. That evening was spent enjoying fondue with my parents and Jeremy. Memories of past new year celebrations flooded back, reminding me of my grandparents. Reminding me how central family is to our lives. Reminding me what a gift it is to have such an amazing family to spend my life with. I remember being surrounded with love my entire childhood and I giggled and smiled as I watched Carter listen as his Uncie J read him a night night story with cowboy voices included. I am so glad my children are every bit as loved and spoiled (not spoiled by me, of course) as I was as a child. I stood in the kitchen once the children were in bed and everyone else left to run some errands and fought back tears thinking of all the gifts we have been given. Remembering these first months of Elise's life and being blown away by how much I already love her and with such intensity. I stood knowing 2016 would be the best year yet.

Jeremy reading a bedtime story to Carter.

I enjoyed listening to the story as well.

Then January 2nd rolled around. It was a lazy morning that rolled into a productive afternoon. We dropped off some donations at Goodwill and headed to the grocery store to pick up last minute supplies for cheese fondue for dinner. As we were paying my dad called and from my mom's reaction I knew something terrible had happened. Shock settled in as the news was relayed that Jeremy had been hit by a car during his run that afternoon. Then the panic and fear crept in. By the time we made it to the hospital we had convinced ourselves it wasn't that bad. But the minute I walked into his hospital room reality set in. There was my big brother who taught me everything I needed to know as a child and more. The brother who protected me, who had my back, who believed in me no matter what. There he was with a broken femur, broken pelvis, and fractured skull. His brain was bleeding and swelling to the point that in the middle of the night doctors were concerned he may not make it through the night. But despite all that, he was there. He was breathing. He was fighting. He was bleeding and blinking and he was my brother. The only big brother I have. The only brother who pulled my socks off for me when I didn't have the fine motor skills to do it myself. The only brother who ran side by side with me during my first marathon. The older brother who has challenged me, pushed me, changed me, and helped mold me into who I am. He may have been bleeding and broken but he was alive. He was there reminding me your whole life can change at any given moment and although that may be comforting in difficult times, it is terrifying in others. My brother is a huge part of my heart, of my life, and of who I am. I believe he will pull through this and get better. I know time will heal these wounds. I know life will eventually go back to normal or semi-normal for him. I know these things, but still I am afraid. I am afraid of the curve balls life can throw us and the changes that lay ahead for my brother. I don't want him to hurt. I don't want him to struggle. I hate the thought that he won't be able to walk for quite some time. I ache knowing he will not be running alongside me anytime soon. But he is here. That is what matters. Please whatever you do, whatever you believe in, do it for my brother. Pray, dance, sing a song, send positive energy. He has a long road of healing ahead of him and I know we will all appreciate the encouragement and love. It feels weird and wrong to talk about anything other than what Jeremy and my family is/are going through right now, but I have some posts that were already typed up and ready so I will go ahead and publish them in the next few days. Jeremy is currently in a medically induced paralytic state to allow his brain to stop bleeding and recover. Pins have been placed in his leg because he is not stable enough to undergo surgery on his femur. I will update with good news as it arrives. Thank you all for thinking of him.

Jeremy, me, and Thomas as kids.