My Mommy Mess-Up

Everyone messes up.  I make a mistake or mess-up with Carter on a weekly if not daily basis.  My most recent mess-up was clipping his nails.  We were getting ready to leave for the day and I noticed his fingernails were really long.  I hate it when he claws himself during the day so I decided to clip his nails.

Mind you I have only clipped Carter’s nails once before.  I accidentally clipped one nail too short, Carter cried, and I decided I wouldn’t clip them again.  I either filed his nails or had Ty clip them.  I knew I didn’t have time to file his nails, so I decided to very carefully clip them.

He was in the jumparoo so I had easy access to his hands.  I grabbed the first hand and started clipping.  When I got to the second hand I was so relieved and thought in my head, thank goodness I haven’t nicked him yet.  I got to his thumb on his right hand, the last finger to clip.  That’s when it happened.  

I clipped the nail and felt very successful, I did it, I’m done!  I looked at Carter’s face and it was bright red and his lips were drawn down into a frown.  He began to wail and that’s when I saw blood bead up and roll along the tip of his finger.  I panicked, did my best to not cry along with him, grabbed him out of the jumparoo and immediately popped his thumb into my mouth and sucked it.  Why?  I have no idea.  I guess I thought it would help with the pain?  Doesn’t make much sense thinking back on it, but I was desperate.

My poor baby's thumb.

What happened next?  My momma worry kicked in.  By the time I got to daycare the next day I was convinced it was infected.  Welcome to the life of a mom, trying to do the right thing, messing up, and then endlessly worrying about it!  It’s been almost a week and it’s healed up just fine.  No infection at all.  Now the guilt I feel for hurting my baby?  Yeah, it’s still stickin around.

He was all smiles moments later, but I was not!