The Teething Monster and My Last Week

This next week is my last week at home with Carter before heading back to work for the school year.  It makes me feel like a big ole ball of emotions.  It's hard to bear the thought of not spending every waking moment with Carter.  Even when he transforms into Carter the Teething Monster there's still no where I'd rather be than with his chubby cheeked little self.

Does it get any cuter!?

Right now is the time when I should be getting him ready for the transition into daycare.  I should be just laying him down in his crib for naps and having him spend more time playing independently.  All of that is easier said than done when I can count the number of days left at home with him on my fingers.  Add in the whole teething monster aspect and it's next to impossible.

Little Mister has had multiple days this week where he was exhausted but refused to nap.  The only way I could get him to sleep was putting him in the baby carrier and walking around with him.  Cuddles didn't work, rocking didn't work, singing didn't work.  The baby carrier has been a life saver.  I would gladly carry him around in it all day regardless of the back pain that inevitably follows.  Does this bode well for naps at daycare?  I'm afraid not.

My view of Carter sleeping in our ErgoBaby carrier.

I may be dreading Carter going back to daycare, but I'm definitely not dreading going back to work.  I know I've mentioned it before, but I LOVE my job and I LOVE my students.  When I start to get really sad about going back I think about the 1st graders looping up into our 2nd grade class.  I picture their sweet faces and how excited they'll be to share their stories of travel and adventure from the summer.  I think of the toothy smiles with gaps from losing teeth over the summer.  I picture the inches they've grown.  How their hugs will be different because they are different.  They will be taller, tanner, smarter, more mature.  Normally at this time of year I would be counting down the days until school started, eagerly awaiting the endless hugs, smiles, and I love yous.  I love feeling like I'm making a difference.  Knowing that there are children who know what it feels like to be loved because I was their teacher.  Some children who may have never felt that before. 

After I moved away from the first school I taught at, one of my previous co-teachers called me.  She told me she had seen one of my old students in the hallway.  She told him she'd just seen someone who loved him very much and asked him if he could guess who.  He very excitedly guessed me.  That was such a wonderful moment for me.  To know that even years later he knew how much I loved him.  I used to live for moments like that.  I still do, but I also live for even simpler moments.  The moments when my baby is sitting next to me resting his hand on my leg or I'm holding him and he's drooling down the front of my shirt. 

Who would want to leave this face?

It's such an inward struggle to want to be with my baby all day long, but at the same time feel the need to impact the lives of other children.  There's really no perfect solution, no best answer, no way for me to feel completely satisfied.  That is until I convince my superintendent I would still be an effective teacher with a Pack N Play in my classroom...