The Marathon and Me

I've been enjoying my long runs so much these days.  During my first 12 mile run I started contemplating running another marathon.  There's something about running long that makes me want to go even further.  The marathon and I first became acquainted when my older brother decided to run one.  Up until that point I'd always written marathoners off as "crazy insane people" and knew I'd never run one.  After watching my brother I was anxious to run one myself.  There was something about the atmosphere and excitement that went along with the marathon that I just had to be a part of.

Jeremy finishing the marathon.

I graduated college in May of 2008 and had just come off of 4 years of D-II cross country which meant 60 mile weeks.  I jumped head first into marathon training.  I dropped my weekly mileage down to 30 miles a week and was having a blast.  Every weekend after I hit 14 miles I was so excited, telling myself that weekend I would run the longest run of my life.

My goal for the marathon was to finish but I secretly wanted to qualify for Boston.  The race I signed up for, the Route 66 Marathon, was a challenging course.  More mentally than physically.  The first 20 miles of the race were all relatively flat.  Then you hit the 20 mile mark and it got real.  The final 6.2 miles were all up and down hills.  I had seen the elevation chart for the race and knew what I was getting into.  I tried to save up for the hills a little bit and it paid off.  I rocked the hills and passed so many runners.  Some were half marathoners, but it didn't matter, it felt so good to be going by people.  It made me feel even stronger.  I finished in 3:40:05, qualifying for Boston.

Running during my first marathon with my brother, Jeremy.

It was such a great experience.  I walked away feeling pumped.  When I crossed the finish line I couldn't wait to do it all over again.  I was really happy with my time and proud I had finished, but I instantly felt like I could do better.  Like most other runners I wasn't satisfied with a 3:40:05.  I ran over 26 miles and I ended up being only 5 seconds over 3:40.  Now I just had to run another marathon to break 3:40. 

I hadn't thought to take the following day off work so I had a 2 hour drive to my parents' house riding in the car with them and then I had to drive a half hour home from there.  I went to bed immediately when I got home and slept hard.  I definitely struggled to walk the following day and a student slid on wood chips while I was out at recess duty, accidentally kicked me in the shin, and I almost cried.  I started looking at possible spring marathons and decided on the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. 

Training for my first marathon I ran all my long runs alone.  When I started training for my 2nd marathon I met who I now describe as my "crazy marathon friend".  She's run more marathons than I have half marathons and her PR is 3:07.  Running with her really pushed me and I was in amazing marathon shape.

She talked me into running a marathon relay with her.  The plan was for me to run the first 4 miles alone, we'd run the next 18 miles together, and she would run the final 4 miles by herself.  We'd both get 22 miles in and we'd get to run with other people.  The week before the relay she ended up with a slight injury and decided to skip the long run.  So I ran the first 22 miles alone and she ran the final 4 miles.  I finished the first 22 miles of the relay on pace to run a sub-3:30 marathon.  Part of me wanted to just keep going because I was having an awesome day and I knew I could rock the marathon, but I decided not to because with 2 more weeks and a taper I knew I could run even faster at the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon.  That's a decision I think I will always regret.

The morning of the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon I walked outside and instantly felt nervous.  The wind was strong.  It was a steady 20 mph with gusts of up to 40 mph.  All Oklahomans know that really what you need to look at is the gusts because it basically gusts the entire time.  I should have known when in the race information it said "a flat fast course as long as it's not too windy".  Ouch.  I rocked the first 13.1 miles out (with the wind at my back) under pace for a sub-3:30 marathon.  We turned around and ran miles 13.1-26.2 into the wind.  I ran my only 10 minute mile in a race in my life, other than my half marathon 32 weeks pregnant, during those final miles.  Being the stubborn person I am, I refused to walk, which was most likely a huge mistake. 

Getting my legs up after the OKC Marathon.

I finished in 3:43:04.  I was both exhausted and devastated.  I had trained hard.  I knew I was in great shape.  I new I was capable of running under 3:30.  I had trained for months and put everything I had into that race.  When I looked at the big picture I was proud I had come out with a time just 3 minutes over my PR given the conditions, but I just couldn't get over the disappointment.  I had unfinished business.  I decided to run another marathon in the fall, but my heart just wasn't in it.

I spent months training for the marathon once again.  Then the week of the marathon approached and I was sick.  I felt horrible.  I struggled during my easy, short runs.  I knew it wasn't going to be good.  In denial, I popped Airborne like no one's business and pretended I was feeling better.  At the race Expo the day before the marathon, I knew I should switch to the half-marathon.  I knew it wasn't going to go well, but I had taken the following day off work and didn't want to miss the day after a half-marathon.  Once again my stubbornness came out.

This time I was forced to walk during the race.  I was miserable. My original goal was to finish in under 3:40.  Pretty early on in the race I adjusted my goal to breaking 4 hours.  I never drink Gatorade during races.  During the final aide station I accidentally grabbed Gatorade and felt it slosh around in my stomach during the rest of the race.  I threw up as I crossed the finish line in 3:58:04 and was rushed to the med tent.  The next day I went to the doctor only to find out I had a sinus infection and bronchitis.

I was so done with the marathon.  With two horrible experiences.  Two races thwarted not by lack of training, but by circumstances out of my control.  I decided I was done.  I hated training for so long and working so hard for a race when conditions and health could so easily get in the way and ruin it all.  That's the great thing about shorter races.  If you have a bad race, no big deal just try again in a week or a couple of weeks.

So the marathon and I...  We have a love/hate relationship.  I still hold onto the feelings of love from my first marathon and that 22 mile marathon relay leg.  That feeling of accomplishment, of greatness, that I could go forever.  But the most recent taste in my mouth, not good.  Not good at all.  It's been 4 years since my last marathon and I have yet to forget.  To forget the disappointment, the hard work and training all for naught.  I still feel like I have unfinished business with the race distance.  I know with training and a race day going my way I could run under 3:40.  But I'm just not sure that I'll ever run one again.  Part of me really wants to and the other part of me is so over it.  Only time will tell.