Our New Car

Ty and I had been talking about buying a bigger, safer car to replace Ty's car before Baby #2 comes along for awhile.  The plan was to be used to the car payment before adding another child to our family.  Ty began researching and looking into what car would be best for us.  The longer I was back at work after the summer, the harder it was for me to be away from Carter all day.  We began seriously entertaining thoughts of me staying home after Baby #2 and the car search was put on hold.  We knew the car payment would be too much for the strained finances of a single-income household.  I was faced with a decision.  Did I want to have a safer car with room for our family to grow, but stay at work?  Or did I want to be able to stay home with our babies later on, but not have a car equipped to transport them in a way I felt comfortable and safe with?

Many nights were spent weighing the pros and cons of me staying home vs. working.  A couple weeks ago we went to the car dealership, test drove a car, and set into motion buying a car.  I still wasn't quite feeling 100% sure it was what I wanted to do, so we waited a while longer.  Last week was one of the hardest weeks for me as a working mom.  I broke down at school and my co-teacher again swept in for a heart-to-heart.  If I haven't mentioned it before, she is absolutely amazing and I can't imagine how I would have made it through this first year as a working mom without her.  She is mom to 2 amazing kids and went through the whole struggle of being a working mom just like I am now.  It is reassuring to know that she has no regrets.

Last night we went to the dealership and bought the car.  I left feeling like a weight had been lifted from my chest.  The longer we drew out the decision, the harder it was for me to go to work.  Now that the car is ours, I know there's no turning back.  I can no longer waver back and forth about whether to stay at home or not.  I've made the decision and will stick with it.  I love looking at our new car because of what it means for our family.  I know it's just a car but to me it symbolizes all the things I can help provide for my family by working, all of the opportunities our children will have due to our larger income.  It means we have room to grow.  That when we decide the timing is right we can add another baby to our family. 

Our new silver 2010 Mazda CX-9.

 

There are so many reasons why we finally decided the best thing for our family was for me to work, but these are the most important.  I want these written down so when I'm having a rough day or a rough week due to being away from Carter I can look back at them.

• We want to send Carter to college or get as close as we can.  I've seen both sides of this.  I have no student loans and I have a 40 year old co-worker who is still paying off student loans.  It means so much to me to do for Carter what my parents did for me.  If not to pay for his college in full, at least to help as much as possible.  Now Carter, if you could get scholarships like mommy did, that would help us out!
• I teach in the best school district in our area, arguably the entire state.  If I am still teaching in district when Carter starts school, he can attend my school district because I work there.  The opportunities he would be provided in the district are amazing.  We can't afford to live in-district right now, let alone on one income, so he wouldn't attend the district if I wasn't working.
• We want to add 1-3 more children to our family (I know it's a large range, but it's hard to know until we have more than one).  We could squeeze into our current house with a 4 person family, but with a 5 person family it just wouldn't cut it.  We would like the option to move into a bigger house in the future.
• As Carter gets older and wants to play sports or take lessons or run races, I want him to be able to do that.  I don't want to worry about making ends meet when he asks to play soccer or get a hamster or any of those things kids will want to do.
• I have the best possible situation at work.  My co-teacher is amazing.  Working as a team I create half the lessons I would in a self-contained classroom.  My lesson plans don't take nearly as long and I'm not drained physically and emotionally at the end of the day like I was when I taught on my own.  If I were to stay at home I would lose my teaching buddy and who knows if we would be able to teach together again when I returned to work or if I'd even get a job within the same school district.
• I've worked really hard to get to the point where I'm super organized and have everything for the year prepared ahead of time.  My weekly lesson plans take me minimal amounts of time.  As curriculum changes I am able to change one thing at a time.  If I were out of the classroom for say 5 years, it would be so hard going back.  I would start all over creating materials, learning curriculum, etc.  It would mean more time spent before and after school and at home working on things and less time spent with little man (well, medium man by that time)!
• When I think of packing up my classroom and storing all of my school stuff I get an ache in my chest and a lump in my throat.  I can't imagine not sharing all of the materials I have with children.  I've spent nearly all of my adult life collecting books, creating resources, making math games to engage students in learning.  I just can't imagine all those tools not being in the hands of students.
• Ty feels comfortable with me working.  I don't want him to feel stressed and overworked due to me staying at home.  I want him to go to work and enjoy what he does as much as possible.  I want him to be able to take chances.  If he's offered a job in a different department I want him to be okay doing that.  I don't want him to feel stuck where he is.  The idea of me staying at home scares him and I don't want that.
• Carter loves his teachers at daycare, has so many friends, and has an endless supply of age appropriate toys to play with.  He spends time outside, creating crafts, making music, and being read to.  I can provide all of those things at home, but I couldn't give him the peer interaction.  I could schedule playdates, but they would most likely be weekly rather than daily.  I only have 2 stay at home mom friends in town.  One I'm not close with and the other has older kids.  

I could go on and on about retirement, my job, and all the reasons why I feel like it's best for Carter, but I better just stick to highlighting the major reasons we decided I should stay at work.  I would love it if staying at home were the best thing for our family, but it just isn't.  It's great for those families who are able to make it work.  Ty's mom and my mom both stayed at home.  Neither of us wanted for anything growing up.  Well, anything that was a necessity.  There are always those outlandish things kids want that they will never get.  I spent most of my childhood wishing for a little sister.  If I had a different job where I worked 8-5 and didn't have summers and nice holiday breaks to be at home with Carter I'm sure it would be a different story.  My job is a great blend.  I get to contribute to our income, but I also get to be home with Carter a lot more than most working moms.  The only way my working situation would be better would be to have a part-time job.  And at the end of the day as long as Carter has parents who love him, everything will work out just fine!