The Rewards of Being a Mom

There are so many moments as a mom when I proudly look at my son, but at the same time tear up at how much he has grown.  Today I was all over the place with my emotions.  We were playing in the living room this evening and Carter was sitting on the floor waving a plate around.  I swear I looked away for a second and when I turned back he was standing up, not holding onto anything, swinging the plate around!  I couldn't believe it, squealed, and immediately picked up the phone to call daddy.  Carter looked at me, seeming to realize he was standing on his own and plopped right back down to his booty.  I was so excited and tried to get him to walk to me all night.  Of course he wasn't interested in reenacting it at all!  We are all so ready for him to walk that I only felt joy over his standing.

Big boy standing on some totes!

When it was bedtime Carter wanted to be rocked for a while so I sat in the rocker with him pressed against my chest, his head resting on my shoulder.  He wiggled around until he was laying just like a baby.  I looked down at him and couldn't believe how big he was.  His body reached all the way across me and his little feet hung over my side.  My mind pictured that tiny baby who once seemed to be the length of my arm.  I nuzzled down into his hair, rubbed my cheek against his soft skin, and breathed in his sweet smell.  Anyone who has seen Carter when he's sleepy knows his attachment to my hair.  Especially when I'm rocking him to sleep he reaches up, gets ahold of some hair, and twirls it in his hand or just holds onto it.  It is sweet and I love the connection we have, but when he's overtired he rips my hair out and he's gotten to where no one else can put him to sleep.  He has to have momma and I assume partially because of my hair.  

Carter playing with my hair after a 5k.

So I've been trying to get him attached to something else.  We tried blankets and various stuffed animals with no success.  Lately I've been using his zebra lovie.  When I rock him I put it between him and myself.  I've been hoping that will get him to associate the lovie with being soothed.  Up until tonight he would grab it and throw it on the floor repeatedly.  Tonight he only threw it on the floor once.  Then when I laid him down in bed, he reached out for me while my hand was still in the crib and wrapped his fingers around mine.  I stood holding hands with my precious boy as tears welled up in my eyes.  I can't think of anything sweeter than holding your baby's hand.  After a few minutes of soaking up the love, I laid his lovie down beside him and left the room.  I then spent the next few minutes watching him roll around swinging his lovie, holding onto it the entire time.  He even waved it around like what he does with my hair and eventually fell asleep.  I love it when my little boy wants to hold onto my hair and have me close, but I love it just as much when he sweetly says goodbye with the touch of his hand and then holds his lovie to fall asleep.  It is hard to watch him grow and change, but it is so rewarding!  I'm proud of everything little man has been doing lately, from climbing ladders to standing alone and even soothing himself with something other than my hair.  It's so true what they say.  Being a parent is a difficult job, but there is nothing as rewarding!