Carter Update

Jeremy Update:

I have a couple bits of exciting news tonight! First of all, Carter got the go ahead to visit his Uncie J! Before his nap he asked to go on a hike so we made plans to take a hike when he woke up. When I went into his room to get him when he woke up I asked him if he still wanted to go on a hike and he said, "No, I want to go visit Uncie J." I started to tell him we couldn't and then realized Jeremy was out of the ICU so Carter might be able to visit. I asked my dad so he asked a nurse and they said he could go visit. So we headed up there and Carter was so excited to see Jeremy. Jeremy was asleep when we got there but actually sat up to play with Carter. Toward the end of our visit he told Carter he was really tired so we headed home. As we were driving off Carter said he already missed his Uncie J and wanted to go visit him again. It was so sweet and just what I needed to see! The other exciting news is that Jeremy got his trach out this evening! So it was an exciting day all around.

Jeremy watching Carter draw a picture.

Kisses for Uncie J as we were leaving.

Now on to a post about my sweet Carter boy which I wrote before Carter got to visit Jeremy...

Oh man, Carter just keeps getting older and older and sweeter and sweeter. He is a handful and charming and a snuggler and my heart. I love him so much! We are now two months removed from his third birthday. It is crazy to me how quickly time is passing us by. We have been talking more and more about his transition into preschool and to be honest it makes my heart ache just a little. Talking about it now helps prepare me for what is to come, but why does it have to be so soon? I know for sure I want him to be acclimated to school culture and be used to a classroom setting before he enters kindergarten, but why does it have to be all day for 5 days a week? All the preschools we've looked into in different school districts are full time. I would prefer him in a preschool affiliated with a school, but we are thinking we may go a different route and pay for him to go somewhere to make it an easier transition with less time a week. So much to think about!

Carter is a very social little guy and loves to be around other kids as well as adults. When he meets someone new, he'll yell "Nice to meet you," as we leave. He also tells people, "Have a good time!" And he gets so excited when he sees other kids his age. So many times when we're out for a hike he'll find another family out for a hike and follow along with them. He can also be very shy when somewhere new, especially when there are a lot of people. I've noticed he tends to only have meltdowns at playdates when there are 10 or more kids there. I get the feeling it's overstimulating for him. I took him to a toddler art class and he got so shy and weird with the teacher when she tried to talk to him. He started only making monkey noises like Curious George makes. It was a bit embarrassing. We've been thinking for a while it would be good to enroll him in some type of class next year to help him get used to having a teacher other than me. That experience definitely solidified that thought for me!

He loves Elise so much. He has his moments where he knocks her down or pulls toys out of her hand, but for the most part he is the best big brother! He likes to follow me to her room when I'm putting her down for a nap so he can close her bedroom door. As he closes her door he blows her kisses over and over, telling her sweet things like, "Good night sissy, sleep tight," or "Sweet dreams, sissy. I love you!" It's the cutest. He loves to share food with her and keeps track of what she's allowed to eat. I'll hear him at the table as I'm making lunch listing off what she can have and then saying, "Okay, she can have this!" and then tossing something from his plate to her tray for her. On the flip side anything that goes onto her tray suddenly looks so delicious and is exactly what he wants to eat. He's told me things like, "Well, I wanted to eat cereal until I saw that banana. It looked so delicious, I just wanted to have that!" He cracks me up! He's gotten really bad about wasting food. He'll ask for something and then decide he wants something else, mostly just at breakfast and snack time. He's tricked me into it a few times by saying he wants it to go with his other food. But I've had to crack down and if he doesn't finish what he has, he gets nothing else. I've had to put food away and pull it out at snack time to get the point across that he needs to eat what he has first. This morning he had oatmeal and then saw my bagel and wanted that. I had to play hard with him and he eventually ate his oatmeal. It sucks, I know, but it's life. Food costs money, we can't waste it!

Sleep has finally gone back to normal. He either sleeps through the night or wakes up and stays in his own room which has been amazing! We ended up coming up with the solution that he can have his door open and we leave the bathroom light on. Before if we left his door open he would come out of his room multiple times. He now knows if he leaves his room, we close his door, so he doesn't come out. If anything he goes to his doorway and peeks his head out which is hilarious in my opinion! He still takes a decently long nap in the afternoon, almost always 2 hours sometimes even a little more if he had a hard time falling asleep at night. I lay with him to help him fall asleep because it takes him forever to fall asleep if I don't and then his nap doesn't overlap with Elise's. It's crazy, if I lay with him he falls asleep in 5 minutes or less. If I don't lay with him it takes over an hour and often times he doesn't fall asleep. I was starting to think he didn't need a nap anymore but then I realized he was just having a hard time falling asleep. If he still naps for 2 hours, he still needs a nap! Part of the reason why he falls asleep easier if I lay with him is because he plays with my hair. He still does it when he's tired, grabbing my hair and twirling it. I'm interested to see how long that habit lasts and what he will move on to.

Some of the sleep trouble came about with the loss of his beloved Big Al, which came at a terrible time just a couple weeks after Jeremy's accident when Jeremy was still in critical condition. Carter has had a hard time with this transition period with Jeremy in facilities where Carter isn't allowed to visit. He asks about Jeremy a lot and worries about him. He gets so excited to see videos of Jeremy and will watch them over and over and over again. The first video I took he watched 10 times in a row! Then anytime he got his hands on my phone, he'd flip through and watch a video of Jeremy. Jeremy was definitely his go-to buddy. Always the one on the floor playing with him or obliging him with train games or chase games outside. There really wasn't much Jeremy wouldn't do for Carter. The first video of Jeremy talking, Carter excitedly said, "Uncie J can talk again!!!" Then he kept asking if Uncie J could eat yet and was pumped the day Jeremy ate a banana, just like he had! He asks to go visit him a lot. He did get to facetime with Jeremy and loved it! It was the first time I heard Jeremy tell anyone he loved them. Carter said, "I love you, Uncie J!" and Jeremy said, "I love you, buddy!" Carter is confused and thinks Jeremy got hit by a garbage truck pulling a trailer. I've reminded him over and over what happened, but he keeps saying it. He also keeps saying he wishes Uncie J could have flown away so he wouldn't have gotten hit. He'll say, "If only Uncie J could have flown away from the garbage truck. Then he wouldn't have hurt his head and I could see him." We go to Jeremy's house every other day to take care of his cats. Carter loves Mr. Jones and will explain to him what is going on. Yesterday he said, "You miss Uncie J, don't you? I know you do. Uncie J got hit by a garbage truck pulling a trailer and hurt his head. He's at the hospital. He's getting better. You want to see him, I know. Poor kitty kitters." It was so sweet and heartfelt and I could tell it was an expression of how he felt. Due to Jeremy's accident he has become a huge worry wart when we are out for a walk or run and he sees a car coming. He'll tell me, "Mommy, hurry, jump out of the way! I don't want you to get hit and get hurt like Uncie J! Then you'll be in the hospital and what will happen to me and sissy?" It's sad and I wish I could shield him from that, but he has to understand that sad things happen but we have to keep living our lives. It's hard to grasp that at such a young age, so I have to teach him with my actions.

He is still really into puzzles and has actually started enjoying them even more than he used to. He constantly wants to do puzzles and his favorite are his dinosaur puzzles. It's neat to hear him think aloud as he works on them. He'll say things like, "Okay, this is a corner piece," or "Mommy said look for the straight sides." It's so cute and he definitely remembers what people tell him. One day he told me that everyone is good at helping him with puzzles but that Oma and mommy are the best at it. I wonder if it's because we typically don't touch the pieces, only guide him by explaining things to him. He's a super independent boy! He also loves to climb trees and will be up in one before I even noticed it was there! We were at the zoo and he climbed up in a tree while I was showing Elise the elephants. I turned to see where he went and he was in the tree! He is really interested in stars and planets right now and loves looking for the moon and talking about when it's going to get dark. He cracks me up because he'll start worrying that it's going to get dark while we're out somewhere and he wants to get home before it gets dark!

Carter is the sweetest guy and has an emotional intelligence of a child over twice his age. I'm impressed with how well he is handling all of the adversity in his life right now and how much empathy he has for the feelings of others! I keep finding myself wishing more adults could show the understanding, compassion, and empathy that Carter has. I know he will do so well with Jeremy as he returns home and is faced with a whole new set of challenges. I'm sure it will be hard for us to adapt as we will, even in the back of our minds, wish Jeremy could be who he was before the accident. There is no doubt in my mind that no matter what version of Jeremy he is, Carter will accept him fully and with open arms. I'm so proud of the boy he is and the boy he will grow into!