Carter's Big Boy Bed Transition

I can't pinpoint an exact reason, but I was dragging my feet on switching Carter over to his big boy bed.  Part of me wanted to wait until we bought a second monitor so we could have one in both rooms and we could do naps in the big boy bed and nighttime in the crib before switching over full-time, but I didn't actively do anything to get another monitor.  Carter had gotten really independent with naptime and I think that was in large part due to Jake being here some days and me not being able to rock him on those days.  I could put him in his crib with a few books.  He'd read the books, then push them into a corner of the crib and go to sleep.  It was amazing and surprising and a little bitter sweet all at once.  Some of my favorite moments in the day were rocking Carter before putting him down for bed.  I loved the last minute snuggles, kisses, and hair twirls.  I found I missed him more during naptime when I didn't get those.

Suddenly the first week in December I was ready.  I knew it was time and I wanted to get Carter moved over into his big boy room.  The room was ready, Carter was ready, and finally I was ready!  I told Ty and he put the bumpers on that night.  I let Carter watch and he giggled with excitement over the whole ordeal, especially each time I referred to the bed as his big boy bed.  Wednesday, December 3rd, at naptime I asked Carter if he wanted to try his big boy bed for naptime.  He started giggling, squealing, and said yes while shaking his hands in the air.  He was so jacked up about it, it became obvious he would need a while to settle down before he'd be able to sleep.  I laid down in bed with him and read him a few books.  While we were reading Harper hopped up in the bed with us and Carter was so excited.  I told Carter not to get out of bed until I came to get him.  Then I gave him a kiss and told him night night.  I couldn't decide whether to leave the door open or not since we didn't have a monitor in the room yet and decided to close it.  I was a little nervous Carter would start messing with Harper and she'd have no way to escape.  My nervousness turned out to be justified.

Excitedly trying out his big boy bed.

Bye bye Mommy, ni ni!

I headed into the kitchen to make dinner because I needed to have it ready to put in the oven since I tutored that night.  It was the strangest thing.  I had been so excited for Carter to sleep in his big boy bed, but now that he was in there I was struggling to hold back tears.  I knew I was ready, but it was just hard.  My baby was no longer in a crib and he was temporarily in a room with no monitor so I couldn't check on him.  As I started cooking dinner I heard Harper give Carter a warning bark.  I took off running toward the room only to slip and fall as I turned the corner.  I don't know if my socks were just slick or what, but it caught me by surprise.  When I got to the room and opened the door Harper came out running followed closely by Carter.  I told Carter, "No, Carter.  You don't get out of bed until mommy comes to get you."  He gave me the I know I did something wrong eyes and walked back to his bed and climbed in.  I laid down beside him to read a few more books and Harper again got on the bed with us.  I decided that since it was his first time in the bed and he was still learning and he was now past his regular naptime, I'd lay with him until he fell asleep.  He excitedly told me how it was also Harper's ni ni time and Opa's ni ni time and Daddy and Mommy's ni ni time.  Then he laid back, twirled my hair in his fingers and began sucking his thumb.  Just when I thought he was about asleep he sat up and pointed at Harper, exclaiming, "Harper ni ni!"  Then he pointed at his Christmas tree.  I told him, "Yes, Harper is also taking a nap and your tree is very pretty."  He laid back down and fell asleep shortly after.  This time I left the door open ajar so Harper could leave if she wanted and I could peek on Carter as he slept. 

Finally asleep!

Harper braving the bed with Carter again.

Leaving Carter's room the second time I felt much better.  I don't know if it was laying there until he fell asleep or leaving the door open so I could check on him.  Whatever it was I felt at peace with where he was.  That first nap was a successful one as he slept for 2 hours, not waking once.  When he woke up he sat in his crib and called for me.  He didn't get out of bed until I came in and got him up.  I debated whether to go for the bed again at nighttime or to stick with the bed at naptime for a while before venturing to nighttime sleep.  Ty and I discussed it and decided to let Carter take the lead.  I asked him if he wanted to sleep in his big boy bed and he said yes.  Then I asked him if he wanted to sleep in his crib and he also said yes.  So we were back at square one.  But then before bathtime he ran into his big boy room and got on his bed asking to go "ni ni".  While in the bed he continued to request to go "ni ni".  The whole time I got him ready for bed he was saying "ni ni, ni ni!"  Ty set the camera for the baby monitor up in the room while I lotioned Carter and put his jammies on.

I laid down in bed with Carter and read a few books to him.  Then I turned off the light and told him good night.  I started to leave the room and he yelled "no!" and started to cry so I laid back down.  After about 15 minutes I got up and told Carter good night.  He again yelled "no!" and began crying, but I left and decided to let him cry.  I watched him on the monitor and he sat in bed and cried hard for 5 minutes.  He was crying so hard it was one of those where I was afraid he would make himself throw up so I relented and headed back in.  The minute he saw me he laid back down so I told him good night and started to leave again, but he shot up and cried.  I figured it was just a transition so I laid down with him for a while longer.  Anytime I'd tell him good night and start to get up he'd squeal, "No, mommy!"  While I was in bed with him he would look at me and say, "Hi, mommy!"  It was so cute!  Eventually he looked at me and said, "Baby."  I asked him if he wanted his baby doll and he said yes so I asked him if he wanted me to go get it and he again said yes.  I retrieved his baby doll from his crib and laid it down by him.  He said thank you and then told me good night.  Without any tears I walked out of the room and when I checked on the monitor he had rolled over, put his arm around his baby doll, and was falling asleep.  

It's blurry because it was dark, but I still thought it was cute.

Sleeping with his arm around his baby doll.

I enjoyed reading a few books with Carter and then laying with him for a while before he fell asleep and he requested it every night and at naptime.  Unfortunately it turned out to be a bad habit to get into.  We visited Ty's parents over the weekend and Carter wouldn't go to sleep unless Ty or I laid with him until he fell asleep.  So the Monday after our trip I decided it was time to work Carter away from me laying in bed with him.  I explained to him that I wasn't going to lay with him anymore before laying him down.  At naptime I pulled a chair over by his bed and read him a few books.  Each time I started to leave he would cry hysterically so I stayed in his room, telling myself it was a step up that I wasn't in his bed.  Bedtime went about the same.

On Tuesday I thought about things more and decided there was no reason why he couldn't sleep in his big boy bed by himself other than that we got into a bad habit.  It was time for me to be a tough mom and put an end to our bad bed habits.  I rocked him just like usual and then laid him down for his nap.  He immediately got up and went to the door crying.  I let him cry for about 5 minutes and then went back in, had him get in bed, gave him all his buddies, kissed him, and left.  Immediately upon me shutting the door he was out of bed and crying at the door again.  I tried letting him go a bit longer and then going back in and following the same procedure.  It again didn't work.  After the 3rd time of going back in and getting him set back up in bed I realized going back in was just getting him more worked up.  So after those 30 minutes of going back in to check on him after 5, 10, and 15 minute increments I sat down on the couch with the monitor and waited out the crying.  After nearly an hour I was starting to be convinced he would skip his nap altogether when he walked back to his bed, climbed in, cried a few last cries looking back at the door, and fell asleep in exhaustion.

The whole ordeal was terrible.  I hated listening to Carter cry.  I wanted to be in there with him.  He wanted me in there with him.  But I knew it wasn't a good habit for us and would just cause more pain later on.  It's not good for him to be dependent on me to fall asleep.  What good is a big boy bed if he can't be a big boy and sleep in it on his own?  While I listened to him cry I wanted to cry.  I became frustrated.  I wanted to hit something.  My heart hurt.  I had to keep reminding myself that it would pass.  Eventually he'd be sleeping in his big boy bed with no problems and I would be glad I toughed it out.  If I didn't do it he would always want me to sleep with him and I would regret not transitioning away from it sooner.  That night I was fully prepared for another hour long cry session when I put him down for bed.  I wasn't sure I could handle it again as it frazzled my nerves and made me sick to my stomach at naptime.  I was prepared to put on headphones and try to get my mind off the monitor.  Just like at naptime I rocked Carter for a while and then laid him down in his bed.  I tucked him in and handed him all of his buddies.  Then I left and watched him get out of bed on the monitor as I walked down the hall.  He began crying while I was in the kitchen pouring myself a glass of milk and getting a snack.  By the time I sat down on the couch with my milk and food Carter had stopped crying and was climbing back in bed.  I was shocked!  Less than 5 minutes of crying and Little Mister was asleep!  All I can say is that I'm glad he learns quickly.  He saved this momma a lot of stress by going to sleep so quickly!  I love my little guy and I hate that I made this transition harder on him than it needed to be by laying with him initially.  You live, you learn, and hopefully Elise will benefit!  Although I know she'll come with her own unique set of challenges.

Now I lay Carter down with no crying and he goes right to sleep.  He doesn't want to read books or rock, he just wants his bed!  I was changing his diaper before naptime one day and he kept requesting to go "ni ni".  I told him I would go lay him down when he had a fresh diaper on and he started cheering "yay!"  It was hilarious!  I'm now able to lay Carter down in his bed and leave without so much as a peep most nights.  Occasionally if he's overtired he'll cry for a few minutes, but it never lasts long.  One night he was way overtired.  He got out of bed, laid by the door and cried for a couple minutes before climbing back into bed and going to sleep.  Part of me wishes he wanted to read some books in bed or cuddle before going to sleep, but I know this routine is better.  This way if anyone else needs to put him down for bed it shouldn't be a problem.  Before when we rocked before bed, Carter would only go down for me.  With how little mister goes down for naps and bedtime now, no one would believe me that he at one point screamed and cried when I left him alone in his big boy bed.  The crying is tough to listen to, but it is so worth it in the end!

All snuggled up with his buddies and ready for bed!

His new thing is climbing up by his pillows and sleeping across them.