Slapping Update

I've mentioned the strange phenomenon of Carter slapping other children here, here, and here.  The first time it happened I was in shock.  We were on our first meetup and Carter was overtired so I took care of it and wrote it off as him being way too tired.  Then we traveled to Virginia and visited lots of babies during our trip and it happened again.  At first we all just stopped and stared in shock.  We couldn't believe he had done it and didn't react quickly enough.  It was the strangest thing and we had no idea where it came from or why it suddenly started.  When Carter was in daycare there were a couple of kids who would slap others to get what they wanted and one of them even bit Carter a few times.  But with all that going on, Carter never picked it up at the time.  Now all the sudden months later he is dishing out slaps and of all places to little kids' heads.  I was at a loss, embarrassed, and stressed.  I want Carter to have friends, I want people to like him, I want to set up playdates, but here he is abusing his friends.  The motivation behind his slaps are also confusing.  He doesn't do it when he's upset or wants a toy.  It comes from nowhere.  He'll be playing and suddenly just reach over and slap the child.

When we got home from our trip I decided it was time to get serious about getting his habit under control.  Anytime he slapped anyone, including the dogs, he went straight to time out.  I set a timer for one minute, since Carter's one year old, and when it goes off he's allowed to get up.  At first he didn't seem to understand the concept and just sat or laid in the corner crying.  As time went on it seemed as though he understood a bit better.  He would sit in the corner, looking up at me, attempting to make me smile or laugh (sound like Uncie Tommy at all?).  I would stand staring at the ground not giving him an ounce of attention.

This morning we had a playdate with a little boy Carter had never met before.  I felt like I needed to tell the mom, see this perfect little child of mine?  He's very sweet and loves other kids.  He will hold your boy's hand, give him hugs and kisses, hand him a toy he's reaching for, and even blow him kisses as we leave.  He may also unprovoked reach over and slap your child on the top of the head and I don't know why.  I am so sorry and I swear we are really trying to get it to stop!  I did explain to her that he'd recently started slapping kids in the head and we are working to remediate the situation.  She was very sweet about it and said her son is very resilient.  Carter and the little boy were playing so sweetly and standing together.  Pretty soon it happened, Carter reached over and slapped the boy in the head.  I picked him up and hauled him off to the corner for time out.  We went back in and he immediately went back over and laid one on the boy again, who amazingly was not phased either time.  I took Carter over to time out right away.  It seemed as though he was testing me.  Okay, you took me to time out last time I hit him, but will you do it again?  After that we didn't have another instance the entire time.  The time out seems to be working just not eradicating the behavior as quickly as I'd like.  If anyone has experience with such behavior and has suggestions, we are open to trying anything that will work.  Anything other than keeping Carter away from other children.  That's just not an option.

Playing sweetly after a couple of time outs.

After we played at their house for a while we headed to story time at a library close to their house.  The story time was a lot more fun than the one we normally go to.  The librarian only read a few books and none were full length books, they were all board books.  She did lots of songs with the kids and even pulled out a bubble machine.  Carter loved it and spent a lot of the time dancing.  He even walked up right in front of the librarian and stood staring at the book which was fine until a little girl walked up and stood beside him.  No one could see the book and I had to grab Carter.  As we were leaving we made plans to play and then go to story time again the following week.  Hopefully Carter will do better next time and will only slap once or if I'm lucky, not at all!  By that time he'll have a couple days of practice with Jake under his belt.  I'm hoping that will help because it will just be me and the two of them and I'll be able to put him straight into time out with no distractions.  Tomorrow is Jake's first day.  Wish us luck!

Carter had a blast chasing bubbles at story time!