Well, everyone, I've almost made it! Tomorrow is the last day of school! This weekend is my best friend's wedding. We will return Monday afternoon and I will go in for a half-day of a teacher work day in the afternoon. After roughly 200 days of dropping Carter off at daycare and spending the majority of his waking hours with 47 children belonging to other parents, I get to spend Carter's waking hours with him. My heart has been yearning for this day from the moment I held his tiny 6 pound, 3 ounce body in my arms. The entire pregnancy I had no doubts I would return to work, but things changed once our little man arrived. Making that decision financially and career-wise was heart wrenching at the time, but I've never looked back. I've known ever since I talked to my co-teacher it was the right decision for me. Continuing to work from January 31st to the end of the year has been a struggle. Once we'd made the decision for me to stay at home I was desperate for it to be our reality. But here I am one day away and I've made it! When I resigned back in January I didn't regret all the time I had missed with Carter while working because I felt I needed that time to know in my heart we were making the right decision. Before that point I kept believing it would eventually get better. I kept thinking my heart won't hurt this much next month. Next month will be the month I no longer feel depressed. But looking at Carter now and knowing how much I've missed makes me sad. I do regret it, but it was what had to be done at the time. No point in looking back.
Yesterday Carter cried when I left. Today he rushed for the door, kissed the window, and stood laughing as I walked away. I wish he'd do that every day!
When I first resigned I thought at the end of the year I would start feeling emotional about leaving. Up to the point we finally decided I would stay home the thought of packing up my classroom made me sad. I just wasn't ready to give it up yet. Now that I'm actually packing up my classroom I am so excited. As each item goes into a tub, I know I'm that little bit closer to spending my days with Carter. Today we had our end of the year party. Our homeroom moms organized a pizza party and at the end presented my co-teacher and myself the sweetest paintings made by the kids. I'm not sure how I held it together, but my eyes definitely welled up with tears. Our group of 2nd graders moving on to 3rd grade will be the first group of kids I've had for 2 years. You would think it would be easier to let them go when you've had them for longer because you are tired of them, but it's so not true. I'm so much more attached and I love each of these sweet kids. Maybe I will feel differently when school starts back up in August, but right now I feel a huge sense of relief. Relief that this time in my life will be in the past. That I will be able to spend my days teaching and playing with my little guy.
Ty helping me load totes from my classroom into the car.
Such a sweet present! It makes me emotional just looking at it now!
This morning Carter woke up and played quietly in his crib so I went ahead and finished straightening my hair before going in to get him. It was so much fun to watch him roll around, play with his blanket and his lovie. We were ready early enough we had about 10 minutes to play outside before leaving. I'm excited to have the luxury of playing outside until Carter is ready to come in (although that may be never). I'm excited to have more time to go to the aquarium, visit the zoo, and play at the Children's Museum. And of course frequent the library while participating in the summer reading program. That splash pad at the park? We will be seeing lots of it! Am I saying there won't be tears tomorrow? Absolutely not. But I am saying I'm excited for what lies ahead. Bring on summer time!
Hearing "skin" stick to a slide is the same as nails on a chalkboard for me!! One thinks it would hurt!
ReplyDeleteGosh, I know, but it sure doesn't mother him!
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