My favorite thing about this month has been how his relationship with Elise has really grown and blossomed. She thinks he is the absolute funniest thing ever and will laugh at him pretty much no matter what. Anytime he looks at her and makes a goofy face or fake laughs, she starts rolling! We were at Wal-Mart and he wanted me to walk really close to the cart since I was wearing Elise so he could make her laugh. She'll lean her head back really far and just stare at him when she's in the carrier. One day when I had just put her down for her nap he kept opening her door and saying hello to get her to laugh. Needless to say, I had to get her out of her crib and start the going down for a nap routine over. He also likes to tell her what to do. If she's doing something he doesn't think she should be doing, he's quick to tell her! He also likes to take care of her. One of his favorite things to do is cut up food into small chunks and serve it to her. I think he loves the excuse to use a knife, a butter knife, but still! He absolutely loves feeding her and will search through the silverware looking for one of her spoons and then uses it to feed her. She has been crawling just little distances at a time. Carter is her biggest cheerleader and will get a little bit in front of her, cheering her on and finding things to get her to crawl to. He remembers the story that he crawled to a set of keys when he first started crawling so he'll get keys and lay them out in front of Elise. He also lists all the foods she can eat and is quick to tell people she can't eat something if they have it near her. It's cute to hear him rattle off, "Sissy can have: sweet potato, broccoli, peas, butternut squash, corn (acorn) squash, cereal, puffs..." He will also sit and tell her everything she can do when she's older like go on a hike and eat chocolate. I think he's looking forward to her being able to do those things.
The ultimate sweetest thing I've ever seen him do happened one morning as I was vacuuming. Elise had a really runny nose and he kept seeing me wipe her nose for her. I peeked into his room to check on them because he'd requested I let sissy play with him while I vacuumed. I saw him wiping her nose and then heard him say, "See sissy, all better!" He had stopped playing, gone into the bathroom, gotten toilet paper, and wiped her nose for her. My heart melted. Then he got up, carried the dirty paper into the bathroom, and flushed it down the toilet. My love for him grew so much in that little moment. I wanted to rush over, kiss him, hug him, and tell him how wonderful he was. But I didn't want to interrupt so I just kept doing what I was doing and mentioned how proud I was of him later.
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| Carter wiping Elise's nose. |
With as sweet as he is with his sister and how much I know he loves her, this month was also a big regression month. He started getting more jealous of her than usual and was acting out with physical aggression. He would lean in to kiss her and when he'd pull away, she'd have teeth marks where he bit her. The craziest part of it was that she wouldn't even cry. If there hadn't been teeth marks I wouldn't have even known! I'd say moments like that would happen once a week or every few days, but were becoming increasingly more troublesome to me. I also noticed on days when he didn't sleep as well at night he tended to react physically with children out in public. For example, if someone tried to cut in front of him in line, he might push them over. It was when he was provoked, but wasn't his typical sweet way of handling situations. I called Thomas, who is a school psychologist, to share my concerns. He discussed it with the school psychologist at the preschool and we decided Carter needed to start getting spanked immediately after physically hurting others. It was hard to do, but extremely effective and the incidents of physical aggression toward Elise are pretty much non-existant now. I'll even see him start to lash out at her and then freeze and make a better choice. I'm not a proponent of using spanking as the sole method of disciplining a child, but it sure has it's place!
This month was also frustrating with sleep and potty training regressions thrown into the mix. Suddenly Carter was no longer sleeping through the night, waking anywhere from midnight to 4 am and coming into our bed. He was also struggling to fall asleep at night and requested someone lay with him to help him fall asleep. We're tackling one thing at a time and trying to keep Elise from being woken up, so sleep has been a bit of a mess this month. Then there was potty training which I felt was finally going really well. But then he started refusing to get on the potty and if I tried to force him he would kick and scream and flail his body all over the place. So after about a week of frustration for both of us, I took a step back and we're finally getting back on track. At Carter's 3 year well check the doctor told me, kids are potty trained on their time not our time. That was a good reminder for me. Obviously forcing the issue isn't working since I've been doing it for months on end. One day it will click and that will be that. For the time being I'm still having Carter sit on the potty at regular intervals throughout the day. It's hard not to be frustrated because he knows how it works and is choosing not to do it. He'll tell me, "I'll go on the potty next time," or "I'll be potty trained when I'm bigger." I'm over here all like, you are bigger and this was the next time while trying not to pull my hair out! And believe me, I've tried everything! I can't tell you how many people have told me the trick that was guaranteed to work and it failed miserably. I don't mind trying suggestions but I don't get my hopes up because I know every child is different and mine, for whatever reason, just doesn't mind wet or dirty britches. Yep, I've even tried leaving him in wet or dirty pants and he was unphased, just went about his day like it was no thing. He also went through a phase where he'd potty standing up and purposely spray potty all over the place. I didn't make too big of a deal out of it, not wanting to give him attention for it. I just made him clean up his mess and that pretty well nipped it after a few times.
I feel like he's in a transition period with naps which has messed with his ability to fall asleep at night. Some days he still takes a 2 hour nap and those days he really has a hard time falling asleep at night. Other days he only naps for an hour or an hour and half and then falls asleep easier at night. It seems like he's working toward a shorter nap and I think nighttime sleep will get easier once his body figures out naps. I thought about waking him up from naps after an hour and a half if he's not awake but I can't shake the thought that if he needs the sleep he needs the sleep! If nighttime sleep were too bad, I would, but that hasn't happened yet. Some of his nighttime trouble is because he's become scared of the dark. He covers himself completely with the covers and says he's hiding under the covers. He is also afraid of train sounds and we have a lot of trains that go by at night.
With all the frustrations we encountered this month, I'm so glad Carter is very forgiving. One day I just totally lost it. It was a day with lots of "accidents" and physical aggression and was topped off with him not falling asleep for an hour while I laid in bed with him to help him fall asleep. I yelled at him and shut him in his room. After a few minutes by myself I calmed down and the frustration melted away and I was reminded he's only 3 for goodness sake. I went into his room and apologized. He was so sweet saying, "It's okay, mommy. I wasn't mad. I was just sad."
This month Ty took on a new project at work and has been going into work an hour earlier. Morning was always Carter's special daddy time. Ty would make him breakfast while I went back to sleep. With Ty going into work early he now leaves while Carter is still asleep. It's been really hard on Carter and I noticed his physical aggression surfaced around the same time as him losing out on his special daddy time. It was hard because Carter would wake up and cry when he realized Ty was gone and would sadly tell me, "Daddy ate without me." Ty eats eggs every morning for breakfast so that's what he'd make Carter. The first few days Carter asked me for eggs and then told me they weren't delicious like daddy's, even though I made them exactly the same as he does, and stopped asking for them. What made the transition harder was that it started right after Ty had a whole week off for Thanksgiving. Carter kept asking why daddy couldn't stay home with us again. Just this week Carter has seemed to adjust to our mornings being different and stopped crying when he woke up and Ty was gone. He hasn't been jumping out of bed and running to the kitchen to check for daddy either. I'm torn between being relieved that he isn't crying every morning anymore and being sad that he stopped checking for his daddy.
I'm amazed at how much stronger he has gotten this month. I see it in so many activities. He can now climb higher in the tree by our house than he ever has before. He went from just messing around on lower branches last month to full on climbing to the top of the tree these last few weeks! Some days he really puts up a fight and doesn't want to go on a run with me, other days he jumps right in the stroller. He has started waving at other people as they come toward us going the opposite direction and doesn't seem phased when people don't wave back.
His memory and retention of information still blows my mind. He'll ask for certain playgrounds by name. One evening Ty was setting the table and accidentally got out a butter container with leftovers in it rather than butter. Carter told him, "Sweet potatoes are in the circle lid, butter is in the rectangle lid." We've gone to a few evening Storytimes where Ty met us there. Now every afternoon Carter asks me if we are going to Storytime with daddy. One day we were reading a book and each page had a picture of 2 animals on it. I didn't even notice until we got to a page that didn't have 2 animals and Carter said, "Why this page not have 2 animals?" His attention to detail is quite impressive. He knows we eat a fruit and a vegetable at every meal and sometimes tries to sneak in an extra fruit instead of a vegetable! I'll ask him what fruit he'd like and he'll tell me two different ones. Then I ask him what vegetable and he'll say, no thanks! Most the time he does pick a vegetable, but it's so funny when he tries to get 2 fruits instead. He also does a great job of moving his food from the table to the counter if he has some left so Harper doesn't eat it. He can do puzzles by himself and, lucky for him, he got quite a few for his birthday.
When someone asks Carter his name he always says his full name, Carter Ty Cox. He says it so fast that they are stumped on what his name is. It cracks me up! He says lots of funny stuff. A funny stuff post is way overdue! When we have chili he calls it sloppy joe. If I call it sloppy joe he'll eat it, if I call it chili he's not interested. Lately he's been saying uncle instead of Uncie a lot. He also says nana or banana instead of mimi which is what he's called bananas since he started talking! It's so cute to hear him say things like, "I fixed my problem!" and "I just kept trying, trying, trying." My favorite is listening to him cheer Elise on when she crawls. Now that she's crawling he loves to run loops around the house while she slowly tries to follow him.
He had his 3 year well check the day after his birthday and measured in at 38.5 inches which is the 76th percentile. He weighed 30.5 pounds which is the 41st percentile. He continues to be long and thin. People always think he seems so tall and I guess it's because he's thin. At our appointment I asked if there is still a benefit to having his car seat rear facing and the doctor said no. I was hoping he would say that because just the last couple weeks Carter would sometimes get out of the car saying his legs were sore and he needed to stretch them out. That night I had Ty turn Carter forward facing and it has been amazing! I can hear him better in the car which eliminates a daily frustration I was experiencing. Now I can open his door with my key fab. He climbs in while I put Elise in. Then I can just step up and reach back to buckle him. No more climbing through the car which is nice and a time saver! I also love that I can see him in the rear view mirror now. I just wish he could see Elise but her headrest is in the way! I was cracking up the first time I drove with him forward facing. He'd tell me, "Watch out, a car is coming! You don't want to crash into it and died us!" He'll also ask about buttons he can see and tells me not to drive through puddles. As awesome as it is to have him forward facing, if it were safer for him to be rear facing he still would be without a doubt! His life is more important than convenience. I am thankful we haven't been in a wreck that necessitated a rear facing situation, but I took so much comfort in knowing his life was more likely to be saved if we had. Rear facing for as long as he did has made the transition so exciting for Carter. We told him we got to move his seat because he's so big now and he loves it. He is so proud and still giggles with excitement when he climbs into his seat.
This holiday season is going to be so much fun! Carter is already loving his advent calendar and his advent chain. My parents got him an Elf on the Shelf last year and we started using it this year. I just move it each night, nothing fancy. Carter is pretty skeptical that the elf is magic and keeps touching him even though I've told him his magic will wear off. He's also convinced that I move him each night and won't buy the story that he visits Santa each night and comes back in a different place. He tells me to move Marco and when I say I can't because he'll lose his magic, he tells me I touched him to move him at night. It's so funny! He may be too smart for his own good! We've seen Santa 5 times between play dates and Storytimes. Carter loves Santa and will talk to him if Santa approaches him but he won't go up to Santa on his own. He's only gone up to Santa twice and both times Ty was there and carried him. It's funny because Elise has no problem with Santa and will happily sit on his lap, it's Carter who doesn't want to do it. From watching families while waiting in line, it seems we are the opposite of the norm.
I'm so glad the last week of this month got so much better because I had no idea how I was going to write a birthday letter to Carter with all the struggles we were having. This month was by far our toughest and I'm hopeful this next month will be better since we've had a really great start to the month! Even on our most difficult days, I wouldn't change our current set-up. I love spending my days with Carter and I'm so grateful I get to be his mom!
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