Friday, March 20, 2015

Feeling Sappy and Pregnant

Being pregnant makes me all sappy and full of love.  Don't get me wrong, I also have my moments where it fills me with anger.  But most of the time I'm thinking all these sweet little thoughts and pushing back tears.  So forgive my sappy pregnant posts, but if I'm pregnant for much longer I'm afraid there will be even more of them!  There's something about pregnancy that really brings me closer to Ty and makes me love him even more.  When I look at him I feel so much love and my heart warms at the thought of the baby we created together who is wiggling and kicking around in my stomach.  I don't know if talking about pregnancy in an inclusive way makes me feel that way or if feeling that way causes me to talk more inclusively.  When we talk about Elise and when we talked about Carter it was never that "I was pregnant" or "I had an appointment".  It was always that "we were pregnant" and "we had an appointment".  When I think of labor and delivery I always think of it as a joint effort.  We will make it through the contractions, the pushing, the struggle because we are a team.  Before Carter was born I wasn't scared of labor although I was a little apprehensive.  I knew Ty would be with me and with him as support I knew I could do anything I put my mind to.  Although Ty didn't feel the pain along with me and couldn't physically push as I pushed, his strength gave me strength.  I knew that anything I needed from him as a coach he would provide.  I knew he'd speak up for me and support me in any way possible.  Going through natural childbirth with him by my side was an amazing experience.  He held my hand, massaged my back, sat behind me to support me, breathed with me, and most importantly stood by my side.
I am a little bit of a pain junkie.  I've run 3 marathons, more half-marathons than I can count, a Tough Mudder, a Warrior Dash, the 400 meters and 800 meters in track although I'm not a sprinter (and honestly those were some of the most painful races for me to run), you get the picture.  I love to push my body and have a lot of faith in what it can do.  Right after I pushed the last part of Carter's body out I was immediately thinking, "I want to do this again."  The whole experience was amazing.  Then he was laying on my chest and I was so in love.  I'm really looking forward to doing it again with Elise.  I'm looking forward to Ty walking with me while I work through contractions, rubbing my back when they start to get intense, holding my hand as I stand on the bed (well, maybe I won't do that again), and standing beside me as I push Elise into the world.  He is an amazing husband and an amazing dad.  Every day I'm glad that we met and that we decided to get married.  Even more so I'm glad that we were both ready to start a family at the same time and then add to our family.  The greatest gift Ty has ever given me is children, followed closely by the opportunity to stay home with them and be a mother full-time.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about how lucky I am to live the day-to-day life that I have right now.  With Elise here I know it will only get better.  For that I will always be grateful to my partner in crime, my love, and my support.