Thursday, September 21, 2017

Funny Stuff the Kids Say


Talking to his friend one morning, "I like it when my grandma cuts my hair because she uses a tickle machine."

Referring to hand sanitizer, "I put it on my mosquito bite. It's a huge mosquito bite. I think it was a horse mosquito."

"I need to get Harper water, she's panicking." He meant panting.

Looking at his Paw Patrol backpack, "Why are most the pups boys?"

I was changing stations on the radio and classical music came on, "Ooooh, I love this song. It's my favorite!"

Hayden: Why is it so dark in here?
Carter: Because the sun went down and the moon came up. The sun comes up in the east and sets in the west. The Earth spins so it's light in a different country now."

Carter: The pig in that movie has lots of babies. She must've had lots of appointments.
Me after figuring out he was referring to the movie Sing: What kind of appointments?
Carter: Appointments to get her babies out of her vagina.

While painting his dinosaur with a bright color, "They have that color to tell other dinos their ham tastes bad but it's just a trick because their ham tastes delicious."


We were reading "White Rabbit's Color Book" and Elise had me stop and go back to the previous page so she could point at the picture and say, "Look at hiney! Rabbi's hiney!"
The picture of the rabbit's hiney she wanted us to see so desperately!
Along the same lines we were reading a book and Elise flipped back and pointed at a picture saying, "Look at his booty!"
That is an impressive booty!
Toy computer she was playing with: Who has tentacles?
Elise: ME! and then starts dancing.

We were at the Botanic Garden and she looked down into the water and said, "You no want swim in that wawee. It yuck!"
The "yucky" water.
We were reading a Romeo and Juliet counting board book. When we got to 6 musicians, Elise read it as, "6 maskmen."
The 6 maskmen.
Little girl at the playground to Elise: You're so cute!
Elise: I a kitty cat. Then she galloped away.

We were reading "Lily's Purple Plastic Purse" and Elise pointed at Mr. Slinger in one of the pictures and said, "Mickey Mouse eateet foooood."
There's Mickey Mouse eating.

Me to Carter when picking him up from school: Elise is a bit of a grumper this afternoon because she skipped her nap.
Elise: I not a grumper, I a kitty cat! Meow!

Elise will randomly stop what she's doing and sing "How hard can it be!" from Trolls. She pronounces it, "How ha ca i be!"

I will say, "Pssst, I love you." Elise instead says, "Woof, woof, I love you!"

She says bee-doh for burrito and it's the cutest!

One day she was standing next to me as I was opening the garage door. At the last minute she looked at the handle at the bottom of the door and grabbed it with both hands. She rode the garage door all the way to the top and I had to tell her to let go before it smashed her fingers. I was amazed because she rode it up like a gymnast on the rings. She straightened her body and didn't swing side to side or move at all!

We were at a Literacy event with Thomas and Ty had to come borrow the van to pick up some large stuff from Lowe's. He returned the van to the parking lot but had moved some stuff around. He had put a bag of books into Elise's car seat. As she was climbing into her seat she stopped and saw the bag, then she turned and gave Thomas a death stare as she very angrily said, "Who did this?!!?" over and over until I explained it to her.


  1. I about died reading Carter's "Appointments to get her babies out of her vagina"!

    1. Oh my gosh, I had to choke down laughter when he said that one because I didn't want to embarrass him. The things they say!