"Can you get Harper out of my room? Her collar is going ding dong!"
"Sometimes when my skin gets wet it's shiny."
"That's so nice of you, Elise, but I don't need that. I drink a little fat, not all fat." Elise offered Carter her sippy cup. I've explained to him that she drinks whole milk because she needs more fat to help her grow than he does.
"There's so much cantaloupe in me, it makes my foot hurt!"
"Elise, you, daddy, Harper, and Skippy are my favorite friends." He said that to me.
"Elise, lay down and go to sleep. I will still be here when it's morning to play with you. You just yawned. You know what that means? It's not morning!"
Me: Harper Leedle Lee!
Carter:That's not Leedle Lee, that's a level 5 zebra!
Carter was pretending to be a baby.
Carter: What are you going to name the baby?
Me: How about Ralphie?
Carter: No, that's in the Magic School Bus!
Me: How about Vincent?
Carter: No, that's in a book!
Carter: No, that's a made up name. Baby's name will be Sheedoo.
Elise was screaming in her car seat. Carter put a hand on her forehead and said, "It's okay, sissy. We're going home. That's nothing to worry about."
"Ring, ring! Just so you know, when you answer the phone, it's Rescue Boy!"
Carter: Sissy, it's bedtime not playtime!
Elise takes off with a book.
Carter: Bad girl!
Me: Don't say that, Carter. You could make her sad.
Carter: She won't know the difference.
Elise looks at me and screams.
Me: I'm sorry you are tired, but there's nothing I can do for you when you choose not to sleep. I'm sorry brother woke you up twice this morning when you were trying to take your morning nap. I know it's not your fault.
Carter: But understand you can sleep in your car seat. Good girl!
My dad was reading Carter a book about whales.
Opa: Humpback whales actually don't have a hump.
Carter: Sally the camel has no humps!
"Elise, that was my milk you got. That's expensive milk. It's just for big boys or big girls as a treat. You are not a big girl so you can't have it. So don't drink it again, okay?" I had given him some chocolate milk as a special treat.
A lady we had just met: Are you going to have another baby? Maybe another sister?
Carter: No, my mommy takes vitamins so she won't have any more babies.
"Can I please take my shirt off? Because I'm so super hot, okay."
Elise had pulled down a cloud he had made by gluing cotton balls to paper and ripped the cotton balls up. Carter walked into his room and kept saying, "What?" over and over. He then picked up and inspected a stuffed animal laying on his floor, thinking maybe it had been ripped open. I had to explain to him what it was.