Funny Stuff the Kids Say

Carter to Thomas: I have 2 things to say. First, there's bird poop all over your porch. Second, I got stung by a bee.

Elise: You're going to love dinner. I'm definitely getting a treat today!
Me: Oh yeah, what is it?

Elise: Eggs with that melty cheese!

"Pish posh lemon squash!" -Elise

Ty: No sleeping together anymore. You guys can't handle it.

Elise to Carter: We can sleep together when we're dead!

Elise while riding in the car: Do bears have nipples?

Me: Why are you sitting like that? Is your booty itchy?

Elise: No, I have bubbles in my vagina.

Elise: You know the best thing about Mother's Day?

Me: What?

Elise: The mothers!

Elise to Oma: Happy Mother's Day! I hope you don't get sick and die.

We did a little graduation at home for Elise. I sent pictures and my aunt texted Elise. I asked Elise what she wanted to say back and she had me send these long, hilarious text messages to her. It was so cute! They are what follows after the picture.

Elise's first text to Aunt Judy: 
Thanks. I really like it. I have to brush my teeth good and don't get bug bites. One time I took my shirt off and I was really itchy and I killed a mosquito. We got new books today. I got Polar Bear vs. Brown Bear. The brown bear won. I like your words and can you send us more cookies some days? I liked the cookies you got me for my birthday and there were lots of cookies. I ate the last one. Carter said there was no last one but I went in the pantry and there was. I let him have a bite but he said it was a crumb. I have a blue brush. What color is your brush? What are your favorite colors Aunt Judy and Uncle Mike? I hope I can see you again one day when the sickness day goes away. I watched a cat on tv. We watch every day when it's not bedtime anymore.

Next text to Aunt Judy:
It's very nice of you. I like you to send to Carter too. He likes to get cookies too. My favorite color is blue too. My brother's is orange. He likes dark orange. He also likes mac and cheese. What food do you like? So you have a favorite food. My favorite food is hot chocolate and pizza! I'm going to bed so I won't be able to spond again. I can see you spond tomorrow. How fun was it when you were in the grade I'm going to next when I go back to school? My old friends are Beckett and Hunter and Collins. I have lots of friends and Paiton. There's one boy, I forget his name. He's really funny and he does funny things all the time. One time he put apple sauce in his hair. Then the teachers had to wipe it out and wash his hair out in the sink. I hope you can send more. My dad likes lemon cookies. Do you know how to make lemon cookies? My dad will like it if you send him lemon cookies. He'll like it very much!

Elise was reading a book and said dragon woke up "soggy" instead of groggy.

Carter calls the coronavirus, coronavitis.

"If you drive too fast you get a ticket. If you drive too slow you get a ticket. The most popular one is too fast." -Carter

Elise accidentally broke a straw off in a smoothie that was totally frozen from being in the freezer. She told Ty, "I was a strong woman today!"

"Boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls. But boys who marry boys can't have babies and girls who marry girls have lots of babies!" -Carter, I overheard him telling this to Elise so we had a little chat about it

Elise got some temporary tattoos from a friend as a birthday present, she picked one out for me and said, "This would look great on your forehead!"