Funny Stuff the Kids Say

"There's this girl I don't want to sit by anymore because the whole time she whispers in my ear, 'I'm the queen of germs.' And she really is because she gives people germs and gets them sick." -Elise

Me to Carter: That was good thinking and a great compromise. I like your style.
Elise: He looks like a grandpa.

Elise says "blooding" instead of bleeding.

Carter: Flying squirrels can really fly.
Elise: Piss poss, I don't mind.

Elise: How did the dinosaurs die?
Me: Explains the theories for how the dinosaurs became extinct.
Elise: That is terrible. Everyone has to love dinosaurs. Even dinosaurs. Most of all the one I loved was a pterodactyl.

Elise has figured out that saying pish posh makes me laugh so she says it all the time. If she's getting in trouble or she can tell I'm stressed or upset, she'll randomly yell out, "Pish posh!"

"My leg really hurts. I think it has a migraine." -Elise

"You know why you cry less than me, Elise? Because you have more fat than me. When you have less fat it hurts more." -Carter

While driving in the car Carter looks out the window and says, "What kind of stuff does Hustler Hollywood have?"

Ty and I were going on a date night at our local art museum. 
Elise: Can you do me a favor?
Me: What?
Elise: See all the things and tell me about them and make me proud.
Me: Okay.
Elise: And don't let daddy get lost or his glasses fall off!

Elise called the crust of her pizza, the stem.

Olaf: Anna, I just thought of something that's permanent.
Elise: Markers!
Me: What?
Elise: You know like those black ones at your school that I'm not allowed to use unless you are there.

Carter: When did you watch that movie before, daddy? When you were a kid?
Ty: No, probably 2002, 2003.
Elise: So a few days ago?

"Do you want to see my pussy face?" -Elise, meaning Puss in Boots face

Elise's Puss in Boots face.

"Want to tell me one more thing because I'm ready to hang up now." -Elise during video call with Oma and Opa 

Me: Elise, are you still on a call?
Elise: No.
Me: What are you doing?
Elise: Calling Uncie Taco.

"Can I hang up now?" -Elise, this is how she ends all of her video calls now.

"Do I have pretend school tomorrow?"- Elise, meaning homeschool

"Your math is harder than the matematicas I did at school." -Carter, referring to the math we've been working on during homeschool

Carter: Why is their door always open? Is it because they have 2 doors so they don't close that one?
Me: It could be because it's broken and doesn't latch so they just leave it.
Carter: Too bad they don't have someone like daddy who can fix lots of stuff.

Elise: Do I have pretend school today?
Me: Yes
Elise: Last night I prayed that I could go back to school.

Elise was running down the hallway with Easter eggs in her hands when she dropped some. When she saw they popped open she yelled, "Oh no, they hatched!"