Monday, September 16, 2019

Funny Stuff the Kids Say

Carter: There's one named David and one named Liz. The one named Liz actually looks like you, mommy. While playing "Guess Who".

Both the kids call cream cheese "cheese butter".

Carter: Guess what my favorite Mother Goose song is.
Me: Tom Thumb?
Carter: The Muffin Man!

"Elise, did you know the Muffin Man gives away muffins for free? And he lives on Journey Lane." -Carter

Elise: I don't like any of my veggies. They are gross.
Carter: Oooh, I love them! Can I have yours?
Elise: No. Then starts eating them herself and loving them.

My mom gave Carter her Game Boy. He calls it his Kid or his Game Kid.

Carter: Can I have a dummy?
Me: What?
Carter: Can I have a dumb dumb?
Me: A sucker?
Carter: No those cake things.
I realized he meant Ding Dongs. We had some seasonal 4th of July ones.

While playing Guess Who...
Elise: Does your person have blue hair?
Me: Which person do you think has blue hair?
Elise points person out.
Me: Carter what color hair do you think this person has?
Carter: Green
Andy has very color ambiguous hair, lol!
"I'm wearing my crock pot shoes!" Elise when she had her crocks on.

"Sometimes I get frumpy." Elise meaning grumpy.

"If you give Tesla human food, she's going to get feisty!" -Elise

At church our pastor was talking about self talk and said, "Like right now you may be thinking, 'When is this sermon going to be over,' or 'What am I having for lunch?' or 'I hope I don't fall asleep.'" Elise turned to me and said, "How does he know what I'm saying in my head?!

We were explaining what a brother-in-law is to Carter.
Me: Someday when Elise gets married you will have a brother or sister-in-law.
Elise: No, I'm never getting married! I want to live with mommy and daddy forever!

"I really wanted to sleep in but I was wondering if dad saw a mouse again." -Elise

"I love you more than a hotel, mac and cheese, and fruit snacks!" -Elise

Me: You guys haven't played danger hike in a while.
Carter: Yeah, we had to quit because everyone died.
Me: Wow, that really is a dangerous hike!
Danger hike was a game they played with their Legos.

Carter: I'm starving!
Elise: No, you're not because that means you are dying!

Elise: I'm so proud of myself!
Carter: Why?
Elise: Because I might have a wiggly tooth!

At gymnastics the teacher said, "Smell your feet and tell me what they smell like (while they were stretching)." Elise said, "Mine smell like trash cans!"

"I gotta look like Gpa." -Elise with tape on her nose like a Breathe Right Strip.

"Mommy, you're a magnet and I'm a nail!" -Carter while he snuggled up to me.

We were driving Carter to school and there had been a fatality crash up ahead. There was a ton of traffic and we were trying to exit the highway and go a different way to get Carter to school. During the duration of our drive Elise asked me a million questions. It was a bit stressful for me. Here's a sampling of all the questions she asked...

"Why does that lady want to be a cat?"

Elise: Mommy, what is that little thing?
Me: I don't know, what little thing?
Me: I have no way of knowing if you don't tell me more.
Elise: That little thing with a hat that used not to be outside and is now.

"Can Kyra and Charlee come over after school so we can all play with each agether?"

"Here Mommy, take my plate!"

"I'm still hungry. Can I have a waffle?"

"Why did that lady ding at you and think you didn't have your seatbelt on?"

"Why is there so much traffic?"

"Where is everyone trying to go?"

"Why did those bullies freeze everyone?"

"Is this the long way? Why are we going the long way?"

"Where are all those school buses going? Why are there school buses?"

While we were attempting to exit the highway a truck drove across the grass separating the exit from the access road, Elise said, "Why did he do that? Why is it illegal? Why didn't the police stop him? Should he go to jail?"

By the time we got Carter dropped off at school I told Elise I needed some quiet time because I was so frazzled from the stress of trying to get Carter to school on time and all her questions! Luckily Ty called me to tell me traffic was backed up so we left early but Carter had slept in so it was a bit of a crazy rush!


  1. Very funny! But the questions when fighting traffic would have been hard.

    1. It was funny at first and then I started getting overwhelmed for sure!