Funny Stuff the Kids Say

Carter:

"I want to be a great artist. Uncie Taco is a great artist so I want to learn from him."

Looking off Thomas' painting of the Pigeon to paint his own.

Carter talking to a woman in line by us: "You want to hear how well I can talk kitty?"

Carter: I don't like hummus. Can you please stop putting carrots and hummus in my lunch?
Me: Really? When we first bought that hummus you ate a bunch of it with carrots!
Carter: Yeah, well it doesn't taste very good. Sometimes your buds change (meaning taste buds).

Elise:

Elise got out of bed during the middle of the night and was standing in our doorway. I heard something so I turned the flashlight on my phone and shined it at her.
Me: Elise are you okay?
Elise: No
Me: What's wrong?
Elise: Light is in my eyes.

Going into church:
Ty: What are you going to do this morning?
Elise: Color you a picture.
Ty: Tell mommy what you're going to do this morning.
Elise: I'm not leaving you!

After getting the kids in bed I was doing a workout in the living room with a yoga mat on the floor. I was standing next to the mat doing squats when Elise came running in and did a somersault on the mat, then she yelled, "See that was funny," as she popped up and ran back into her room.

Ty: Elise do not get up! (at bedtime after she'd already gotten up twice to potty)
Elise: What gonna happen?
Ty: You will get spanked.
Elise: sharp intake of breath while making a frowny face and raising her eyebrows.

Me: Elise when you poop in your pants it makes your booty sore.
Elise: But daddy poops in his pants! He just say, "OUCH!"

I got out of the shower to find Elise in our bedroom with a package of wipes, pulling wipes out one at a time and throwing them high into the air. One landed on our ceiling fan.
Me: Oh no, Elise we don't waste wipes! You need to pick them all up!
Elise: But Carty do it too!
Me: Carter come in here!
Me: Carter, did you do this with Elise?
Carter: No, I was just reading books.
Me: Elise, tell mommy the truth!
Elise: Carty do it!
Carter: No, I didn't. I really didn't!
Me: Okay, I need you both to go to your rooms until one of you can tell the truth.
Elise comes out of her room a few minutes later: Mommy, Carty do it by himself!
Me: Elise, I saw you throwing them when I got out of the shower.
Elise: Okay.
Me: What did Carter do?
Elise: He said, "Meow!"
She did eventually admit that Carter hadn't done it with her. Then she apologized for blaming him and lying about it.

When we got to the art museum Elise walked right up to the man working there and said, "I have a kitty and a Carty. My Carty is at school."