Funny Stuff the Kids Say

While taking a tour through Marvel Cave:
Carter: Oma, do you know you're hurting my hand?
Oma: Yes, I know I'm holding your hand. It's in case you slip again.
Carter: No, you're hurting my hand.
Oma: Oh, I'm sorry. I don't like heights.

Elise: I don't like burping in front of Oma.

Me: Why?
Elise: Because she thinks it's funny and she might take a picture.

Elise singing in the car:
"Shave your beard, shave your beard.
No, no, no, not Santa.
Just other people!"

Elise: Why can't they come to our house?
Me: Because we're meeting them at the park.
Elise: I want them to come to our house instead.
Me: Why?
Elise: Because I hate wearing shoes!

Elise singing in the car:
"Someone is going to get sick.
Who will it be?
Will it be Paiton, will it be Caden, will it be Aubrey?"

Elise in the car: I made a panda hand!
Me, thinking she traced her hand on paper and decorated it to look like a panda: Oh cool, I can't wait to see when we get there!
Arrive and find her hand fully colored black.
Me: Elise, what happened?!?
Elise: I made a panda hand!
Me: What will Santa think when he sees this? We were going to visit Santa that evening.
Elise: That I was naughty!

She thought it was hilarious!

"Those kids were going up the slide and down the stairs so I teached them to go down the slide." -Elise

Woman talking to son: Come here, you little monkey!
Elise: My Opa likes flamingoes!

"What you just did was not pleasing." -Carter to the dentist

"I don't like the sense of paper on my skin." -Carter

"You're a Christmas Mommy because you are so nice!" -Elise

Discussing the rules of Go Fish.
Me: You have to have 4 cards before you lay down.
Elise: I have to lay down! Thinking she had to take a nap.

Ty got off work early and surprised us by returning home with a haircut.
Carter: You got a haircut?
Ty: Yes.
Carter: I can't tell.
Me: I can tell. He looks handsome.
Elise: Yeah, I can tell. He looks bald.

"I don't like driving on the highway because it's not as pretty. I don't get to see as much nature." -Carter

Carter: Daddy's wearing glasses again. I don't like them.
Me: Oh, I do, I think he looks handsome!
Carter to Ty: Do you have to wear glasses all the time?
Ty: Yes.
Elise: Well, you won't have to wear them when you are dead!

Elise described a safety pin by saying, "One of those sharp things that you use for races."

Carter: Can I re-wear these pants tomorrow.
Me: They look clean enough. Why do you want to wear those are they the most comfortable?
Carter: No, I want to wear them because I have rocks in my pockets.
Me: You have rocks in your pockets?
Carter: Yes, I have a whole bunch of them!

"He was saying 'I can't hear you, I can't hear you.' I was dying laughing!" -Elise

Elise singing in car: Elsa has the same hair as me and the same skin and the same eyes!

Stranger to Elise: I like your dress.
Elise: Thanks, my grandma made it for me. I call her Oma. My Opa has lots of jokes.
Stranger: Well, I like to laugh

Me: Did you toot?
Elise: No, your breath smells, that's why.

"You know what I like? You and my daddy and my tablet and mac and cheese and wrestling!" -Elise