Funny Stuff

 "Look, they put a leprechaun from the slot machines on a building!" -My mom when she saw the Boston Celtics mascot on the side of the stadium while we were in Boston for the marathon.

Me: Did you fall back to sleep after you got up to potty at 6:30?
Carter: Oh, I didn't get up to go to the bathroom. I woke up when I was in the hallway. I ran out of my room because I was having a dream that I needed to vote.

Ty: I did not appreciate the whining while we were waiting.

Elise: I did not appreciate the waiting.

Me: Next weekend is Mother's Day so we need to plan what we're gonna make for the grandmas and great grandmas.

Carter: Isn't next week teacher appreciation?

Me: Yes

Carter: Wow, momma, you're doublin down!

"You're so loud. I just woke up, momma." -Carter

Carter: Storm troopers definitely love physics.

Me: Why?

Carter: Because whenever they get shot, they jump in the air.

"I look calm on the outside, but inside I'm blowing up because I'm so excited." -Elise

Elise's friend: My tummy hurts.

Elise: Do you want some Tylenol?

Elise's friend: No

Elise: Do you want Children's Pain and Fever?

Elise's friend: What? No!

Carter got his first Gardasil shot and as we were leaving the doctor, he said, "I think my arm hurts too much to finish picking up my room."

"What if someone's name was timber and you said tickle me timber." -Elise

The nurse kept taking Elise's temperate and Elise said, "My head is undetectable!"

Elise at the orthodontist: They are 4 minutes late! I want this to be over with already!!!!

Carter was sleep walking and yelled out, "That's crazy!" When I got up to check on him, he was standing right in the crack of our bedroom door that was open and was talking about a rack. I walked him back to bed and he said, "I'm just gonna take a nap," and got back in bed.

"That party was actually really fun. Anytime you have Opa and Uncie Taco in a room, it's so funny. You have someone who makes a lot of mistakes and brings up embarrassing stuff from the past and someone who is so good at roasting." -Carter

I was getting dressed and Elise walked by and said, "Why don't you have a shirt on, my mommy?!"

I was doing my strength training in the living room so I could watch the Olympics as I did it. Carter said, "Mommy you are really doing good!" as I was doing push ups. Nothing like a hype man when you're doing something you feel like you're terrible at!

A co-worker texted "Happy first day of school" to Carter and Elise. Carter's response was, "Thank you, I am very stressed. I hope you were less stressed on your first day of middle school!"

Carter yelling from bed: Mom, do you still have a womb?

Me: Yes

Carter: So it doesn't fall out when you have a baby?

Me: Um, no.

Carter: Is it shriveled up?