Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Keeping it Real

I had a play date with a mom whose son is a few months younger than Carter over the summer.  When I walked into her house one of the first things she said to me was how I looked so good and she just couldn't seem to lose the last of her baby weight.  I was floored.  When I looked at her she looked as thin as ever, like she was already back down to her pre-baby weight.  Her son was born 3 months premature and I had actually found myself wondering if gaining less weight had made it easier for her to get back down to her normal weight because from the looks of her facebook photos she was back there within months of his birth.  She went on to explain that she didn't start exercising again until her son was home from the NICU and she wondered if she just missed the boat by not exercising those months and therefore couldn't lose the weight.

Who knows why some weight melts off right away and some weight sticks around.  Everyone's body is different, everyone's pregnancy is different, everyone's delivery is different, and every experience is different.  I didn't have any answers for her, but I could share my experience.  I could share that I was back down to within 5 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight within the first month, but then I stalled out.  I didn't lose another pound for months upon months.  I lost hope of ever making it back down to my pre-pregnancy weight and then 4 months postpartum I had lost another pound (you can read about my excitement when I discovered another pound was lost here).  All this stagnant weight loss was occurring while I back to running daily, mind you.  I started going for walks my 2nd day home from the hospital and then run/walking 4 weeks postpartum and built from there.  What I do know is my body must've needed that extra weight.  I must've been carrying it for some reason.  Maybe it was extra fat for breastfeeding or maybe some of that extra weight was in my boobs.  Who knows.  But what I do know is that I'll be prepared this time.  I'll know that no matter how careful I am with eating during pregnancy, no matter how little weight I gain while pregnant, no matter how careful I am with eating postpartum, and no matter how much I exercise postpartum, some of the weight may just stick around for a while.  And I'm okay with that.  I know it will go away eventually just like it did last time.

It was refreshing to talk with someone who had also struggled to lose those last few pounds while frustratingly having to hear other people say how lucky she was that she was able to lose the weight so quickly.  It was eye opening to hear someone saying to me the exact things I was thinking to myself about her.  She wondered how I lost the weight so fast and I was sitting there wondering how she had done it.  If she hadn't started the conversation it never would have happened.  We both would have gone on wondering how the other was able to do it, never knowing that the other one really hadn't.  It made me realize how important communication is even with the tricky stuff.  It's important for us to have a dialogue about these things, to share our experiences, to let others know it's not always easy.  That's why I very strongly believe it is so important to keep it real when discussing pregnancy, child birth, and motherhood.  It's not helpful to someone for me to paint a rosy picture and say, "I loved every minute of being pregnant" because while I do love being pregnant I'm not sure it's possible to love every minute of anything you do, let alone something that lasts for 9 months!  Everything comes with struggles and difficulty.  That's just life.  So while I will tell people I honestly loved being pregnant and thought it was such an amazing experience, I'm always quick to throw in there that I was caught off guard by an unexpected sneeze and peed my pants on multiple occasions.  There was back pain, there were migraines, there was throwing up, but of course none of that compares to the excitement of feeling your baby move inside you for the first time, for the second time, every single time.  I think we owe it to each other as members of the human race to share our experiences, both good and bad when it comes to these common experiences.  It makes everyone feel more normal and there's nothing more refreshing than that!  And that's one of the many reasons why I love Sarah and her blog.  She wrote a post when she was 35 weeks pregnant where she shared a story about peeing herself in public.  All I could think was, been there, sister.  And don't we all need more of that?  More feeling normal and part of a group.  You peed your pants when you were pregnant?  Oh yes, so did I!

A Day in Our Lives: Jake Edition

My blog friend Sarah wrote a day in the life post on Monday and it reminded me that I have been meaning to write a post about a day when Jake comes because our day is different with Jake than it normally is with just us.  Now that Jake's over a year old he's starting to adjust his schedule and is on pretty much the same schedule as Carter for the most part.  He used to arrive at our house, eat breakfast, and then go down for a morning nap.  Then his afternoon nap was about an hour later than Carter's and quite a bit shorter.  It's so nice having them on the same schedule because they have more time to play together in the morning.  I wrote this post on a Tuesday.  It happened to be my mom's birthday, January 20th!

6:30- Carter is awake and calling for me. I get up to go to the bathroom and Ty heads in to get Carter.  He brings Carter to bed with us for some morning snuggles before starting the day.  Carter and I have gotten in the habit of snuggling in the morning and even reading a few books in bed before getting up because it's hard for me to get my pregnant booty out of bed!

6:45- Ty gets up and gets in the shower.  Carter and I lay for a bit longer.  We eventually turn on the light and Elise starts moving around so I tell Carter.  He starts watching my belly for "Dister Eese".  I ask him if he wants to feel her and he says yes and puts his hand on my belly.  Just like usual when I try to move his hand to where she's at so he can feel her, he pulls it off and tells me no.  I'm pretty sure he still hasn't felt her move, although he has seen her move.  Ty gets out of the shower and Carter and I get out of bed.  I make the bed while Carter runs up and down the hall, excited for "cakes" or pancakes for breakfast.  Lately I've been staying in bed with Carter while Ty showers.  Then Ty gets Carter after he's showered and dressed.  He'll feed Carter breakfast and wake me up when he leaves.  Today I need to get up so I can run and vacuum before Jake arrives.

7:00- When I head into the kitchen Carter's eating his left over pancakes while Ty makes his own breakfast.  I clean up the kitchen, feed the animals, do dishes, and make my breakfast.  Ty leaves for work at 7:20.  Carter finishes his breakfast before I sit down to eat mine so he colors and then plays with puzzles while I eat.  When I'm finished eating I get down on the floor to do puzzles with Carter.  Then we head in to brush our teeth and get dressed.  I get distracted and fold laundry as I look through the clean basket of laundry for running clothes.  While I'm folding laundry Carter starts calling for Harper.  Normally she ignores him and I eventually call her so she'll come.  Today she comes when Carter calls her for the first time ever!  It turns out he just wanted her to come in so he could put one of Ty's baseball caps on her head.  I'm sure she regretted her decision.

Harper wearing the baseball cap.

8:20- We head out to run.  Normally we run from trails about 10 minutes from our house and then Carter plays at the playground.  Since we don't have as much time, we just run from home.  It seems like a waste to drive all the way there without Carter getting the chance to play at the playground.  We were going to take Harper with us, but I couldn't find her leash.  She stayed the weekend with Thomas, so he may still have her leash.  I'm feeling a bit sore and achy so we just run out a mile and head home for a total of 2 miles.  I hop in the shower and let Carter have the run of the house while I do.  I used to shut Harper out of our room and shut Carter in while I showered, but I started letting him run the house about a month ago.  Typically he starts off playing at the train table and then comes into our room with books or cars so we can see each other.  If he does play outside our room, I call him periodically to check in with me and he always comes running.  After my shower I get dressed.  Then I vacuum while Carter follows me from room to room, playing with different things in the room.  He tends to choose to play with things I moved to get off the floor so I could vacuum and then puts them back on the floor.  It's getting harder to bend over and pick things up, so that makes my job interesting!  Then I fold laundry while Carter plays with cars.  I finally get Carter dressed after changing his diaper.  I've gotten into the habit of letting him stay in his jammies for a while in the morning since it's been cold in the mornings.  For the first time in months Carter wants to wear his shoes, not his boots!  While we wait for Jake to arrive Carter and I read some books.

Carter played with cars on our bed while I showered.

10:00- Much to Carter's excitement Jake arrives. They immediately start playing with cars and as Jake pushes a car around while crawling on the floor, Carter follows behind him to make a train. Jake starts getting fussy and acting hungry so I get him yogurt for a snack. Of course Carter wants a snack too and actually gets his own yogurt out of the fridge, even grabbing one for me, so both boys sit down to eat yogurt.

Playing train while pushing cars.

Enjoying a yogurt snack.

11:00- We pack up and leave for the library.  This week has been really warm and it's already up to 48 degrees so I put both boys in jackets and put blankets in the wagon for them.  Carter wants to walk which means he'll most likely walk to the library and then want to ride back home so he can read books in the wagon.  I pack all the books into a back pack so I can wear it on the way home, but stick it in the wagon with Jake for the ride there.  Carter is always so good about holding my hand when we cross streets and making sure to stay on the side of me that is away from the road so I'm between him and cars passing by.  It's so nice he does that so I can allow him to walk.  We always stop and look at the fire trucks as we pass the fire station.  As we do a fire truck drives by and sees us so they turn on their lights and honk.  Carter gets so excited he starts running down the sidewalk after the fire truck.  I swear the fire fighters at the station by our house are the nicest I've ever met!  Both boys are very well behaved at the library.  I'm always holding my breath just a little that one of them will be really loud because you know kids never behave as well when they are together!  Carter helps me return the books, pick out new books, pick up our requested books, and check out.  Jake rides along in the wagon while we do all this.  I put the paper books in my back pack and give the boys all the board books to look at on the way home.

Riding home from the library.

12:00- I start making lunch while Carter and Jake play in the playroom.  I'm absolutely loving the playroom being set up how it is!  Jake's mom packs food for him when he comes, so his lunch is the easiest.  I get him started eating first because he takes the longest to eat.  Carter and I are both having leftover chicken Ty's mom sent home with us this weekend.  I heat up green beans to go with it and cut up an avocado for Carter and peel an orange for myself.  When Carter is finished eating he goes over to Jake in his high chair.  He loves to play peek-a-boo with Jake and make him laugh.  He also loves that Jake will feed some of the food off his tray directly into Carter's mouth.  They are quite the pair together and I laugh at them the entire time I'm cleaning up from lunch.  I know Carter has pooped because he walks over to Jake and starts laughing while saying, "Ewww, Jake, poopy!"  He starts trying to convince me Jake has pooped before I've even noticed a poop smell.  He is quite the trickster!

Coloring while I make lunch.

12:30- I change Jake's diaper and lay him down for a nap.  I'm not surprised to find that he is just wet.  Then I take Carter in to change his diaper to find a diaper full of poop.  I clean his diaper out in the toilet, throw it in the diaper pail in our laundry room, and carry Carter in to bed.  He lays down and I hand him his 3 favorite buddies: Buddy, Big Al, and Elmo.  Then I tell him I love him and leave the room.  He's asleep a little bit before 1:00.  After Carter lays down Jake starts fussing in the Pack N Play in our room so I go in to check on him.  He's really tired and just wants to see me so I sit in the doorway typing this blog on my phone while he puts himself to sleep.

1:45- I sit down on the couch to work on the computer.  I finish up working on a couple blog posts I've had going.  Then I prepare materials for tutoring that evening.  At 2:30 Jake is fussing again which is totally out of character for him, he is normally so easy at nap time!  I go sit in the doorway and fold laundry to help him fall back to sleep.  Once he's back to sleep I straighten my hair.

3:00- Jake is awake so I go in to get him.  While I'm getting him up I hear Carter calling for Jake from his room.  I go get Carter and he immediately runs into our bedroom where Jake's Pack N Play is set up so he can see him.  I change diapers and then Carter wants to go outside.  It's in the 50's so I'm all about taking advantage of the weather.  Jake is hungry so after putting jackets on everyone, I take the high chair outside so Jake can watch Carter play as he eats his snack.

Carter trying to sit in Jake's lap.

3:45- We head outside to play.  Jake eats his snack while Carter plays with his toy kitchen.  Then Carter starts running laps around the backyard while Jake and I clap and cheer for him.  Every time Carter runs by the high chair he looks up at Jake and Jake laughs.  It is so cute!  When Jake is finished with his snack we swing for a while and then head up into the fort.  Carter and Jake take turns with the wheel and Harper even comes up to join in on the fun.

Jake enjoying his snack outside.

Playing in the fort.  At one point they were both standing on the stool.

4:30- Jake's dad arrives to pick him up.  He texts me since we're in the backyard.  I carefully climb down the ladder of the fort with Jake which is no easy feat with my expanding midsection.  Carter goes down the slide and we head in to let Jake's dad in the front door.  I need to leave soon for tutoring so I gather all of my things and change Carter's diaper again.

4:45- Jeremy comes over to watch Carter while I tutor.  We meet him outside because the library I tutor at is 15 minutes away and I don't want to be late.  Carter runs to him screeching with excitement.  I give Carter a kiss and as I drive away he smiles and waves good bye.  I park beside the car of my tutoring student's mom and we head into the library together.  We work on reading for the first 30 minutes and math for the second 30 minutes.  The library closes at 6:00 and we head outside with the boy's dad who picked him up today.  We chat about football with the Super Bowl coming up this weekend for a few minutes and then head our separate ways.  I call Ty on the way home and he says he is also headed home.

6:20- I get home a few minutes after Ty.  Thomas came over for dinner and to play with Carter since Jeremy babysat.  We have leftover sweet and sour chicken Ty made the other night along with rice, salads, broccoli, apple sauce, and cottage cheese.  After dinner we try facetiming my mom since it's her birthday and we're all together.  She doesn't answer, most likely because she is celebrating, so we record a video singing her Happy Birthday.  I start a load of diapers while Ty starts Carter's bath.  As I put Carter's jammies on I realize we forgot to take the bumpdate pictures.  I'm so tired and the thought of changing clothes sounds like so much work, but Ty says he'll help me get everything ready.  He erases the chalkboard and writes the new week on it while I change and then we quickly take the pictures.

Getting set up for our bumpdate photo.

8:00- I take Carter in to say night night to his uncies and then lay him down in bed.  We watch the State of Union address while I add the bumpdate pictures and then publish my post.  Thomas heads home shortly after.  Jeremy, Ty, and I watch the first episode of this season of Parks and Rec that we missed last week.  We all chat for a while and then Jeremy heads home a little bit before 10:00.  Ty and I start getting ready for bed, but end up laying in bed talking for a while and don't go to sleep until 11:00.  Every night we say that's the night we're going to bed early but it never seems to happen.  One of these days we'll be in bed before 10:30!

Wordless Wednesday

Driving a tractor at the mall.  I love that he enjoys these without wasting any money!

Eating breakfast on the counter while daddy packed his lunch.

Multi-tasking: Helping make pancakes while also eating them for breakfast.

Trying out his new Valentine's Day stamps with Gma.

Carter and Garrett playing.

Carter and Garrett sharing the ukelele.

Carter offering a pillow to Great Grandpa since he was "ni ni".

Carter was so excited to feed Garrett!

Carter was excited to walk Great Grandpa in for lunch.

Watching Great Grandma and Great Grandpa leave.

The view from the outside.

 

 

Just 2 boys relaxing in their chairs.

Carter pumped about his personal pan pizza his Gma ordered him.

Ready to help Garrett get a bath.

Jammy time with Gma.

Enjoying coffee with Gma.

 

Coloring with crayons stored in Ty's old crayon case.

Putting together a gingerbread house Megan gave us.

 

Carter had a blast walking up this hill on the way to the MLK Parade.

Eating an orange while we waited for the parade to start.

Carter excitedly came running to me saying, "Harper hat!"

 

Eating dinner outside because it was so nice!

 

Carter's smile was too cute in this picture to discard it due to the poor quality.

Carter and Harper posing for a birthday picture for Oma.

I couldn't stop laughing at how hard Carter was straining while Jake slapped the side of the car repeatedly!

 

They made it look like so much fun, Harper wanted in!

Who knew this was a double seater?!!?

Coloring!

Week 29 Bumpdate

Time is going by so fast!  One of my pregnancy apps popped up today to tell me I have 77 days left in this pregnancy.  We are down to double digit numbers of days left, how crazy is that!?!!  I totally forgot about taking our bumpdate pictures until I was putting Carter in his jammies for bedtime.  I was tired and tempted to skip it, but we powered through!  Only pregnant is changing clothes such an ordeal!

January 20, 2015- My mom's birthday!!!!

Baby's Size: Baby should be around 15 inches long and 2.5 pounds!  She sure is getting big and stretching out.  I feel her a decent amount above my belly button! 

Weight Gain: I'm taking the week off from the scales this week and it feels great not to have the amount I've gained looming in the back of my mind.  My appetite slowed down a bit this week so I'm hoping my weight gain did as well.  If I could even just go to gaining a pound a week rather than 2 per week I'd be happy!

Maternity Clothes: I didn't wear any of my non-maternity tops I had been wearing this week because I had all my new maternity tops we got last weekend to try out.  I'm interested to see if they even fit anymore.

Sleep: Sleep was actually really good this week.  Carter slept until 7 a couple of days which really helped.  I also didn't wake up to go to the bathroom as much.  Most nights I only woke once or twice.  Strangely enough I've been waking up on my back quite a bit this week.  Typically I only sleep on my sides, but almost every day this week I woke up on my back.  That used to be a sure fire way to get Elise to kick, but she doesn't always kick when I'm on my back anymore.  I didn't nap during the week at all, but fell asleep on the car ride home from visiting Ty's parents on Sunday and slept for an hour!    

Symptoms: I was really emotional this week.  I pretty much constantly felt like I was going to cry, but for no reason.  The second half of the week I started getting really tired again.  I'm interested to see if that sticks around or not.  If it does, I'll probably go back to taking a little 20-30 minute power nap during Carter's naptime.  My skin has been itchy again this week, must be stretching more, but luckily I still don't have any stretch marks.  My boobs have been especially itchy which is annoying because it looks ridiculous for me to scratch them.  I feel like I can get away with scratching my belly.  The acid reflux type stuff I had going on last week must've just been how Baby Girl was positioned because I didn't have any trouble this week.  I was able to eat full meals at dinner time with no problem.

Running: My weekly mileage was 10 miles.  I only ran 2 miles each time I went out to run.  Running was much more uncomfortable this week than it had been so far.  Part of it was recovering from the Runway Run 5k.  The farther along I am in pregnancy the longer it takes to recover from races.  My first day back running after the race I felt like I was running crooked which tells me my form is off and my hips are out of alignment, but that was back to normal the next day.  All week long I was feeling a bit off and sluggish which was why I stuck with 2 mile runs.  My belly is feeling heavier while running as well.  I still recover from my daily runs really well.  Carter and I went to an MLK parade on Monday.  While we were waiting in line for the porta potty the lady behind us recognized me from the Runway Run 5k.  She was so sweet and told me how impressed she was when she saw I was pregnant when I went up to get my award.  Then she asked how far along I was and she was amazed.  It was very sweet.

Food Cravings: I have been dying for sweet and sour chicken and crab rangoons from a restaurant in my hometown.  I mentioned to Ty that we probably won't be back home before Elise arrives with how our weekends in January are booked up and going on travel restriction in February.  My doctor said he may suggest I stop traveling earlier this time since Carter was premature.  My brothers were going home this weekend to visit while we were headed up to visit Ty's family.  Sweet Ty arranged with my mom and brothers to have them pick up sweet and sour chicken for me and bring it back in a cooler.  They dropped it off late Sunday night while we were in bed so I opened the fridge Monday morning to get Carter juice and about peed myself in excitement when I saw it!

Food Aversions: Smoked foods.

Movement: I've felt some really huge and strange movements this week where Elise is sliding around.  I'm crossing my fingers it's because she's rotating to get head down.  I'm not banking on it though because I'm still feeling movements in the same places I had been for weeks, so I think she's in the same position she was at our ultrasound last week.  I know she has plenty of time to move, but I'd like her to do it sooner than later!  The longer she isn't head down, the longer I'll be worried about a c-section.  I keep reminding myself at least she's sideways and not Breech, I feel like she's more likely to move since she's sideways because she'll run out of room.  On Monday I experienced my favorite moment of the pregnancy so far.  Carter and I were laying together and Elise started poking out of the left side of my belly and then rolling over and poking out of the right side.  Carter looked at me and said, "mommy whoa!"  I told him he used to poke his booty out on the left side of my belly where she was poking out and he started laughing while saying booty.  We talked about how it was his sissy, Elise, going wild in my belly.  Each time she'd move he'd poke my belly and say "issy Eese".  The only way it could've been better would have been if Ty had gotten to see it.  I called for him and by the time he came in she had slowed down and I could feel her and see her, but he couldn't see her.  I told Carter to tell daddy who was being wild and he said, "issy Eese".  It was the sweetest!

Best Moment of the Week:Visiting Ty's family over the weekend and getting to see Garrett.  Garrett is Ty's cousin Megan's son and he's 9 months old.  I was so proud of how well Carter did with him!  He's definitely learning to be more gentle with smaller babies.  He really responded to me telling him he was only allowed to touch Garrett below his neck and only touched his head or face twice the whole visit.  I was pleased!  He also wanted to feed Garrett and give him a bottle.  Hearing him say Garrett's name was the absolute cutest!  He was always checking on Garrett and wanting to know where he was.  If he heard Garrett crying he'd say "Gardit okay?"  Anytime I asked him to help with Garrett he was quick to say yes.  We helped give Garrett a bath and Carter thought it was the funniest thing to watch.  Garrett stood up in the tub and Carter exclaimed "hiney!" while rubbing Garrett's bottom.  He just kept laughing while saying hiney and then told me "Mommy, booty, poopy."  I was cracking up.

Feeding Garrett a bottle.  Garrett didn't need much help!

Currently Loving: How close we are getting!  I can hardly believe we're a week away from 30 weeks.  I felt like once we hit 30 weeks with Carter time just flew by.  I guess having your baby 4 weeks early will do that.  It's crazy to be making plans and talking about things and realizing how close we will be to meeting Elise.  My mom was asking about running a St. Patrick's Day 5k and I realized I'd be 37 weeks pregnant at the time of the race.  We decided I'd do the fun run with Carter since they don't allow strollers in the 5k.  That way even if I'm not running anymore by then I can run/walk the fun run with Carter.  I think that will work out great because running the Jingle Bell 5k at 35 weeks pregnant with Carter was tough and I know my dad was nervous that I was running while dilated.  Oh, and I haven't heard anything back about my glucose screening which means I passed, unless they made a mistake and accidentally didn't call me.  Thank goodness because I was going to be so upset about eating that orange for a snack 15 minutes before drinking the sugar drink if I failed!

Miss Anything: Nope!

What Big Brother is Up to This Week: Carter is finally starting to talk more about his sister and where she is.  If you ask him where our baby is he points to my belly.  If you ask him where his baby is, though, he'll point to his own belly.  It all started one day when he was looking through the magazine I have from the doctor's office that shows the fetus at each month and tells about how it's developing (he loves to look at it and yell baby while pointing at the pictures).  After he pointed at the baby in the magazine and said baby, he pointed at my belly and said "Baby here!"  It was so sweet and made my day.  This weekend his Gigi was asking him about the baby and when she asked him what the baby's name is he said "sissy".  I realized I should probably start to refer to her as Elise to him more often.  Week 29 Bumpdate with Carter.

Carter didn't initially want to take pictures.

He's holding his popsicle stick plane we made for transportation week.