Funny Stuff

"Daddy is way handsomer than a cat, but way stinkier!" -Elise

Carter got a $10 for his birthday and he said, "More money to buy Elise's Christmas present!"

Carter: Which name do you like better, Hurford or Cox?
Me: I don't really care. I liked Hurford because people knew Uncie J and Uncie Taco were my brothers and Oma and Opa were my mom and dad. But I like Cox because it's shorter and most people know how to spell it.
Carter: Yeah, unless they spell it C-O-C-K-S because that's another way to spell it but not how we spell it.

Elise singing one morning: All I want for Christmas is shirts and pants with pockets!

Ty: I don't like your attitude. You need to change your attitude.

Carter: Changing attitude, added to New Year's Resolution (in robot voice).

Elise was in distance learning and while she was on her Zoom she looked over at me and said, "Oh, you are so cute!"

Carter came home from school one day asking for a thesaurus so he could read synonyms in bed before going to sleep.

Elise: Someone asked me to be his valentine.

Ty: Oh yeah, what did you say?

Elise: I said I don't know. But he is really cute.

When Elise was selling Girl Scout cookies door to door, she described the Toffeetastic cookies as "our cheese cookies." I guess the toffee on the box looked like cheese to her!

My dad got attacked by a dog on his run. There were 3 dogs, but only one of them bit and attacked him. Elise: So the other dogs were just back up?

Ty made omelets for dinner.

Carter: How did you make those egg burritos?

Elise: Mommy, look, it's that hot dog thing!

Me: What hot dog thing?

Elise: The one in the air!

Me: Oh, the blimp?!

Me: Are you cold, Elise?

Elise: No, and if I get cold I usually warm myself up with my hands.

Looking at swimsuits for me with Elise.

Me: That one's cute but it's not much coverage.

Elise: Yeah and you really want coverage.

Me: *feeling a little offended*

Elise: That one would definitely make you get sunburned!

Gpa: It's easier for a man to grow a beard.

Carter: Wait, Amanda can grow a beard?!