Funny Stuff Carter Says

Carter: Mommy, did you know I'm sick?
Me: Really?
Carter: Yes because I've been yawning and bless youing so much.

It cracks me up how he sticks his tongue out when he's working hard!

While eating Raisin Bran for breakfast:
"I'm lucky, I have 2 raisins! I'm luck again, I have 3 raisins! I'm not lucky, I only have 1 raisin."

Me: What do you do if your clothes catch on fire?
Carter: Run to the meeting place!

"Elise got a hold of my ham and had ate some. I was really mad."

"He's sick because he's been sneezing and bless youing so much."

"Elise was a bad girl. While I was feeding the dogs and letting them inside she took my plate and ate all of my food."

"The ducks are gone. They were right in this yard before. Maybe they flew south because it's cold."

Carter had his door closed and I started to open the door, he yelled out, "I don't want you to see I'm so handsome!"

Carter: You need to eat some ham (actually turkey) too. It's healthy for you. You don't want to eat all the same thing.
Elise eats the proffered turkey.
Carter: Elise you are such a sweetheart!

He told me he wanted to wear his shirt at bedtime and I wasn't paying attention and took it off.
"Mom, you're just an old duck!"

Carter: I found a caterpillar.
Me: Neat! Where did you find it?
Carter: I pulled it out of my nose.
Me: Well, isn't that interesting.
Long silence
Carter: It was really snot, mommy.

Elise starts talking about shoes in front of Jake.
Carter to Jake: Elise really likes shoes. I don't know why. Some people just really like shoes.

Jake: Carter I have a question.
Carter: What?
Jake: long silence... Truck!!!! points out window at truck
Jake: Carter I have another question.
Carter: What is it?
Jake: another long silence... Motorcycle!!!! points out window at motorcycle
Carter: Do you even know what a question is?

Me: Elise, where are you going?
Carter: I think she's going to the bank.
Me: The bank?
Carter: Yeah, the bank where the watermelon grow!

Carter: I want that!
Me: Okay, remember to tell Santa.
Carter: Okay, but I don't know if in my heart if I'll remember to tell him. I don't know if I like it enough to remember in my heart.

"Elise, watch out for pirates! Them are bad. Very bad." said randomly while they were both coloring.

Carter: It's a rough life.
Me: What?!?
Carter: Being a boy is rough.
Me: Why?
Carter: Because I wanted to be a girl.
Me: Really? And why is that?
Carter: I don't get to have long hair.
Me: You can grow your hair out if you want. Some boys have long hair.
He decided he wanted to grow his hair out until I told him he'd have to start combing it every morning.

Carter: I have a hole in my sock!
Ty: So do I. I have holes in lots of my socks.
Carter: Welcome to my life!

Me to Ty (discussing Fantasy Football): The schedule is random, right?
Ty: Yes.
Carter: Yep, it's random like when your plastic spoon or fork breaks.

"I ate brown Cheerios with no holes." Referring to Reese's Puff cereal he found at Oma and Opa's house.

Elise: Sky!
Carter: Elise I'm not a tiger, I'm a human.

He says candy can for candy cane. I love it!
He calls Nutella chocolate peanut butter.

Funny Stories:

One day I was cleaning the bathroom and heard a rustling sound behind me. I asked who was there and I heard little footsteps take off running away. I knew it must be Elise and went into the hallway to find her running down the hall with a about a pound of leftover spiral cut ham in a Ziploc bag.

I was dropping Carter off at school and we were running late so I just grabbed Elise out of her car seat without putting her shoes back on. We had items to donate for the food pantry so I was also carrying some of them while Carter carried the others. As I was taking the food over to the designated area Elise wiggled out of my arms and took off running toward the indoor play area. By the time I got over there, there were 2 teachers trying to figure out which class she belonged to. She got scared and took off sprinting from them toward a group of kids walking to class. I scooped her up and apologized for my barefoot bandit.