On Turning 30

As I typed that title I realized I'm not turning 30, I'm turning 29. When everyone around me starts having birthdays, Ty and my brothers, I start adding a year to my age. So I taught Carter I'm 29 and then as my birthday approached I had to remind myself I am not 29, I will be 29. When I think of the big 3-0, part of me is just like get on with it already. I know lots of people stress about 30 and just pretend to stop aging but I honestly don't care. I think there are quite a few reasons for that. So here's why 30 doesn't scare me!

Who cares about age when you have these 2 cuties to hang out with?!!

I look at my mom and my mother-in-law and they both look so good. I find myself looking at them at different times and thinking they look way too young to be grandmas! My mom is 58 and she makes it look darn good! She has also never been one to shy away from her age. Thanks to them I can look at each year with the joy I should. It's another year on this earth spent with those I love, doing what I love. Doesn't get any better than that.

My mom being silly wearing one of Elise's headbands. She makes 58 look good!

When I look at what I've accomplished so far I am content. I've traveled to Germany, India, and Thailand. I spent 6 years teaching and enriching the lives of children. I met and married an amazing man. I've had the joy of being pregnant and then birthing 2 children. Now I've reached the most exciting point in my life so far, spending my days exploring and seeing life through the eyes of a child, my child. Finger painting, digging in dirt, splashing in puddles, crawling through tunnels, peeking in fish tanks, reading books, getting kisses, and snuggling. 

I love watching Carter play!

I also love watching him read to Elise!

Have I traveled? A little bit. As much as I thought I would when I was younger? Hardly! Have I achieved riches? Not monetarily. Have I changed the world? Maybe in small, seemingly insignificant ways. But most importantly all through my 29 years of life I have been surrounded by love. The love of my parents, my brothers, my family, my friends, my students, and now my husband, in-laws, and children. I can't think of a better way to spend life. Some people think of life and want a life well lived. For me? I want a life well loved. Loved by those I choose to have in my life and those who have no choice. To show love to those who matter most and those I just meet for a moment. Because to me when it comes down to it all the world needs is love.

My love!

My babies!

I have the greatest family ever!

And amazing in-laws (only one side included here!)

St. Louis Trip

My dad grew up in St. Louis along with his 3 brothers. My grandma wanted a girl so badly that with the 4th boy she told the doctor to put him back and pull him out a girl. Ever since I was a little girl and heard stories of how my grandma always wanted a girl and never had one and so doted on me as the first granddaughter I was convinced I would be just like my grandma and end up with all boys. In my mind that wasn't so bad as I would prefer all boys to all girls! When Elise came along I was so amazed that I actually had a girl. I still change her diaper and look down surprised and excited to see she is a girl! I guess I don't take after my grandma in that respect although all her boys were born around 3 weeks early so I may take after her there! My grandma was really hoping I'd have a girl so I just couldn't wait to bring Elise to meet her! We made plans to travel to visit everyone and were very limited on weekends we could go as Thomas was traveling a lot over the summer and Ty couldn't take off days anyone else at work had taken off. We chose a weekend everyone could go only to find out 2 of my 3 uncles were leaving for vacation that weekend. We decided to come up earlier in the week and then stay through the weekend so we could see everyone before they left. When Ty turned in to get his days off it turned out someone had already asked off for the weekdays he needed. I wanted to try to reschedule so he could go with us but he convinced me that after all that planning and with really no other viable weekends in the summer, since my dad and Thomas both work in education summer was the way to go, we should just go forward with our plans. So I reluctantly agreed. Then he got the news he had to travel for work the week after July 4th. That meant he'd be gone for a week, we'd have one week together, and then Carter, Elise, and I would be gone for a week. I was bummed, but what can you do?! I told myself it wasn't that big of a deal as many families deal with the husband traveling much more and military wives have to deal with their husbands being away for months at a time. So I sucked it up and even though I missed him like crazy, we got to FaceTime almost every night which was nice.

Carter FaceTiming with Ty one of the nights we were gone.

We left from my parents' house Wednesday morning which meant we drove to their house Tuesday and spent the night. We stopped on our way to visit my mom's Aunt Sue so she could meet Elise. It was the perfect stop because she had a bunch of toys for her grandkids so Carter got to play and stretch out his legs before getting back in the car and taking a nap. When we made it to St. Louis we headed straight to my Uncle Dennis and Aunt Trish's house to see them and their kids because they were scheduled to fly out the following morning for a cruise. Carter enjoyed playing with my 12 year old cousin, Ainsley, and enjoyed snuggles with my cousin, Sydney, who heads off to college in a couple weeks. It makes me feel old because I remember playing with her when she was Carter's age! We enjoyed some amazing pizza for dinner. One was a taco pizza complete with nacho cheese sauce and crunched up Nacho Cheese Doritos on top and another was a Chicago style cheese pizza that tasted like a mozzarella stick turned into a pizza. I kept thinking how much Ty would have loved the pizza which made me miss him so much. It was hard to leave because we were having so much fun but it was past Carter and Elise's bedtime so we had to. After driving to my grandparents' house where the kids and I were to spend the night and giving them baths, Carter didn't get to bed until 10! He was a champ though!

Elise meeting my Aunt Sue.

Thomas "playing" with Carter at Aunt Sue's house.

Elise meeting my Uncle Dennis.

My cousin, Ainsley, holding Elise.

My Aunt Trish snuggling with Elise.

Ainsley playing with Carter. It's hard to believe she's already 12!

Elise getting some love from my Uncle Dan.

Ainsley holding Elise while Sydney held her dog.

Thursday we got up at 7:30 and once we'd had breakfast and got around I took Carter and Elise out for a run to a nearby park while my grandparents went on their usual walk and met us at the park. Carter had a blast at the park which was right by a butterfly house. He really wanted to go in but we told him not this trip as he is extremely rough with animals/unexpectedly kills them sometimes. We started our walk home at lunchtime. Carter didn't want to leave the playground so he insisted, "I not hungry. No want eat lunch" the entire way back but then proceeded to kill off a hefty portion of food upon our arrival. That evening my grandma had my Uncle Dan, Aunt Monica, Uncle Doug and his fiancé Pam, and my cousins Kiley and Spencer over for dinner so they could all meet Elise. Carter thought Spencer, who will be a freshman when school starts, was the absolute coolest and asked about him for days afterward!

My grandma holding Elise at the park.

The only way I could get Carter in the picture...

Carter blowing bubbles with my grandpa.

Playing on the caterpillar statue outside the butterfly house.

Carter helping grandma push the stroller home.

Elise meeting my cousin, Kiley.

Friday morning we headed to the Magic House which is an amazing children's museum. It is about 15x bigger than the children's museum we have! Carter had a blast and spent forever in one small section designed for children ages 1-6. There was an animal hospital with stuffed dogs and cats in cages. Carter took a dog to get groomed and then carried it right back to the same cage he got it from. There was a child-sized car at an auto shop and Carter went straight to it attempting to put a wheel on it. At one point Elise woke up so Jeremy, Thomas, and I took her to a section for babies 0-24 months. There were huge mirrors which she loved. She smiled at herself and almost full out giggled. There was a section to weigh and measure her, a ball pit, and some small slides. She didn't really react to riding down the slide at all but when Jeremy would pull her back up the slide to go down again she would smile. That evening I took Elise to meet one of my closest friends from college while Carter stayed behind to swim at the hotel pool with my parents and brothers.

Playing at a Chinese marketplace with Oma.

Elise loved the Magic House too!

Driving he boat with her Uncie J!

Elise meeting Steph.

Saturday morning Carter slept in until 8:30 after a late night, we didn't get to bed until 10:30! We ate breakfast, packed up, and said good bye to my grandparents. Then we headed to Ty's cousin, Megan's house. There Elise met Megan's husband, Scott, and son, Garrett. She also met Ty's cousin, Brody. Aunt Netta was also there but she had met her before. Garrett wasn't so sure of Elise at first but warmed up to her, even giving her kisses! Megan cooked lunch for everyone which was so sweet! There were strawberries and whipped cream for dessert. Netta was sitting next to Carter and he kept stealing whipped cream off her plate even though he had some of his own. Playing around with him she would turn her head and pretend she didn't see him taking her whipped cream. Then she asked for some of his and he told her no but turned his head and pretended not to see so she could take some. It was the absolute cutest! Since Carter slept in that morning, our time at their house was cut short because I wanted to get on the road at Carter's nap time. We had a little bit of playtime after lunch and then we were back on the road. Elise and Carter both fell asleep almost immediately and even slept through me getting gas an hour down the road 

Elise meeting Megan and Scott.

Carter and Garrett riding bikes together.

Garrett checking Elise out.

We have a similar picture of Carter and Garrett from a year ago.

Netta putting Elise to sleep.

Both babies zonked out for the car ride!

On our way back to my parents' house we stopped in Branson to go to White Water and Ty met us there! I was pretty nervous about Elise being out in the heat, especially after our incident at the pool a few weeks ago. I again had the umbrella to help shade her. We also took Carter's puddle jumper. Elise had a blast laying out on the beach chair under her umbrella. She kept kicking and scooting around and would grab the umbrella handle to hold. I took her out in the water for a little bit once the sun went down. She didn't react too much with her face but she sure kicked her feet. After that Carter kept asking for sissy to come back in the water with him. He loved having her in there with him! At one point I took Carter to some slides he wanted to ride. I told him we couldn't ride together and he would have to go by himself but he still wanted to ride. We waited in line and when it was almost Carter's turn I reminded him that I couldn't go with him. He said he still wanted to go. Then it was his turn. He sat down in the slide and waited for the life guard to tell him to go. When the life guard said go Carter looked back at me, screamed for me, and held up his arms for me to grab him. Maybe next time! It was getting late and Elise was exhausted. There was just too much to watch and the music was too loud for her to sleep. I went to find Carter in the lazy river with his Opa and saw him sucking his thumb and clinging to Opa in exhaustion. I decided it was time for our car to head home. Opa took Carter to take a shower and I headed for the car with Elise. I strapped her into her car seat and pulled up to a parking spot right by the entrance. Of course as I started driving Elise immediately fell asleep. We waited for what seemed like ever on Opa to arrive with Carter. When he finally did arrive everyone else was with him. We decided Ty would ride with us instead of Opa. I put Carter in jammies really quickly and then strapped him in. But naturally Elise woke up while he was getting strapped in and cried for the first 45 minutes of our drive! The pacifier wasn't working so finally I took my seatbelt off and kneeled on the floor beside her so she could nurse. She wasn't hungry but was pacified. Since we were driving on the highway we didn't feel that was a safe option so we decided to just stop and get a hotel rather than heading on to my parents' house. Where we stopped all the hotels were booked so we got back onto the highway to head to the next town and lo and behold Elise fell asleep! It was like she just needed to know there was a way out! After that Ty and I had a wonderful time talking in the car. It was so nice to have some one-on-one time together after 4 days apart! Our trip was so busy and Elise got to meet so many special people! I'm so glad we did it even though we missed Ty so much!

Elise napping at White Water while Oma supervised.

It was too hot to put her in her full swimsuit so she just wore her swim diaper.

Opa supervising naptime.

Sister got ahold on the umbrella handle.

4 Months Postpartum

Last month running was going so well and I felt so strong. This month has been a bit off. I haven't gotten a long run in at all. I seriously have not run over 6 miles in 4 weeks! So much for getting up to 10-12 miles this month! The first week of the month I was miserable and thought I was sick before I realized I was having terrible issues with allergies. When I thought I was sick I skipped my long run and a couple weekly runs in an attempt to feel better. With the help of my mom I came to the realization I wasn't sick, it was allergies. I got the go-ahead from our pediatrician to take allergy medication while breastfeeding and started to feel better within hours. The next week we were visiting Ty's family and I didn't get a chance to get a long run in. Then the next 2 weeks we had 5k races and I didn't want to overdo it by running a long run the day after a race and a long run on a week day just isn't feasible with Carter in the stroller.

My sweet, little 4 month old!

Although I didn't get a long run in, I did get a speed work out in each week except this past one. I added in a half mile repeat and then a second one later. Now my speed workouts look like this: 0.25-1 mile warm up depending on how much time I have, 3x0.25 at 7:20 pace as a goal (with the stroller it's slower, without it I'm often faster), 2x0.5 at same pace, 3x0.25 at same pace, 0.25-1 mile cool down depending on time. All repeats are run with 1/10 of a mile recovery between. My goal for the quarters is 1:50. I had one work out where I hit 1:38 for one of them which I was pumped about! I did add a tempo run in during the first week. My goal was to run a mile warm up, one mile tempo at 7:30 pace, and a mile cool down. I was pumped when I ran my tempo mile in 7:12 and felt great! The next 2 weeks my 5ks counted as my tempo run as I wanted to have plenty of recovery time between speed work and my races so I didn't want to add in a tempo run as well.

The stroller fan I got has come in so handy this month!

We ran the Firecracker 5k and I felt great about my race, finishing in 23:21 and hitting super consistent miles at 7:30, 7:30, and 7:27! Then I couldn't help but compare my time to my time from after Carter was born and was bummed I had run a 22:50 after Carter. I know I was almost 7 months postpartum then compared to almost 4 months postpartum this time which gives me 3 fewer months of recovery/training, but I still wished I'd run a bit faster. I went into my next race hoping to better my time and despite a terrible race where I consistently slowed down each mile, I ran a 22:35. I should have been pleased with my time but the way I ran the race left me unimpressed. My legs felt terrible after about the half way point and I gave up, letting my pace falter.

Taking off at the start of the Midsummer's Night 5k.

The entire week after that second race my legs felt trashed and I struggled to hit paces without the stroller that I can normally run with it. I would compare how my legs felt and how my recovery went to post half-marathon. My legs actually felt worse and it was taking me longer to recover than it typically does for a half. I got up early to run while Ty got ready for work so I could run without the stroller and hopefully recover quicker. I also wanted more time at home with Carter in the mornings to work on potty training rather than taking him on a run with no access to a potty. I also kept adding another easy recovery run in hopes my legs would shake out and feel better the next day. Each day I was bummed when I got out there and felt terrible again. I ended up skipping my speed workout, tempo run, and long run for the week in hopes the next week I could start fresh with recovered legs. I didn't want to run those hard workouts on worn out legs and worsen my issues.

Sweetest running buddies you'll ever see!

That last week of this month was so disappointing and got me down. I was bummed about my training going downhill and missing out on all of my hard workouts for the week. I hated running so slow and coming home from a run exhausted. It was really hard for me mentally. I think the problem was that running 5ks back to back weekends was too much for my body right now. I didn't think anything of it when we signed up because it was the type of thing I would have done with no problems before, but I forget that I just had a baby a few months ago and don't give myself enough of a break. I mean, I've only been running consistently with no walk breaks for about 2.5 months. When I think of it like that it helps me put things in perspective. Now I have a better understanding of what my body can handle right now and back to back races isn't something I'll do again for a while. Maybe I could've done it had I not run speed work 4 days after the first 5k/3 days before the second race which gave me shorter recovery after the race and left my legs tired going into the next one. Whatever the case I am optimistic that my training will get back on track this week and I'll have a better month since I'm just running one race. I need a bit of a confidence builder after this past week!

Carter loves to take care of his sister while we run!

I stopped having continuous bleeding at 9 weeks postpartum. Since then I would randomly bleed about 1-2 days a week, some weeks not at all. I finally called my doctor's office because I was starting to worry something might be wrong with me. They had me come in for an ultrasound and blood work. The ultrasound looked good and showed the lining of my uterus was super thin with no placenta materials left behind. The blood work also came back normal. The doctor wasn't concerned and said my options were to just deal with the bleeding, have a D&C, or stop breastfeeding and go on a birth control with estrogen to stop the bleeding. The obvious choice for me was to just deal with the bleeding. I know every pregnancy, labor and delivery, and recovery is different but I can't help but think I jumped back into running too quickly and too strenuously after Elise's birth and am now paying the price. Although that could be completely unrelated, who knows! Hopefully I'll have something better to report next month!

No matter what, she's so worth it!

Midsummer's Night 5k

We ran the 2nd race of an evening race series on Saturday, July 11th. I know this recap is way late, but there were just other things I was more interested in posting about. That day my parents and I spent most of the afternoon out in the sun at the pool with Carter. I was worried about hydrating but was too tired to care and went down for a nap when Carter did. I originally had high hopes for the race but as the event neared my motivation for running and especially running hard diminished. I planned to take off at 7:20 pace and see what happened. 

The whole group: Jeremy, dad, Carter, me, mom, Ty, and Elise.

My mom and Carter listening to the National Anthem.

My dad and I lined up together at the race start and agreed we wanted to go out around 7:20 for the first mile and no faster than 7:15. We took off and my legs felt great. I looked down at my watch around the half-mile and saw I was running 6:50 pace but I didn't worry too much. I knew with the race being on a trail with lots of trees around my Garmin often struggles with determining pace and jumps around a lot. I also didn't want to run off of pace as much as off of feel. I felt really good so I went with it. I knew the race always thins out quite a bit after the first mile and I end up pretty much running alone so I often times struggle to keep pushing. I figured having a bit of a cushion with a faster first mile wouldn't be such a bad thing. My dad knew we were running faster than planned so he backed off the pace. As I noticed him pull behind me I knew I should probably slow down and stay with him but decided against it which probably hurt me in the long run. I went through the first mile in 7:16 which was only 4 seconds faster than planned, but 14 seconds faster than my first mile the week before.

Jeremy, me, and dad waiting for the race to start.

Dad and me taking off at the start.

During the first half of the race.

I could feel myself slowing down and tried not to let myself slow too much. We hit the turn around and I told myself, halfway done but I just wasn't mentally in the race. I was calculating in my head how much of a cushion I had and how much I could slow down and still run a faster time than the week before. My 2nd mile was 16 seconds slower than my first at 7:30. I told myself that wasn't bad really because it was the same as my second mile the week before but I'd let myself slow down too much and it was a slippery slope from there. My legs felt terrible. I wasn't struggling aerobically at all, it was all in my legs. They just weren't ready for races so closely spaced. I knew I was slowing down more and kept telling myself I was a sitting duck for anyone behind me, especially my dad who I knew was still close behind me. Even then I couldn't muster the strength to pick up the pace. I figured if someone came up to pass me I'd try to hold them off then. As I approached the finish line I saw the minutes were still showing 22. In my mind didn't deserve to run under 23 with how weak I'd been mentally but I kicked it in as hard as I could finishing in 22:35. I was disappointed in myself and how I ran but I was pleased that I had run a minute faster than the race on this course a month earlier.

On the return trip.

Crossing the finish line.

I watched my dad and Ty finish and then headed back onto the course to run a cool down to my mom who was walking with the kids in the stroller. I'm so glad I did because it turned out she was having a rough race. Elise was unhappy in the stroller and crying so she had pulled her out and was carrying her for quite a while. Then she took some of Elise's clothes off, took her cover off, and made sure her fan was positioned appropriately and it turned out Elise had just been too hot. When I approached them my mom was running to keep Elise happy. I took over with the stroller and we ran/walked some more. Luckily Elise was calm even when we walked. My dad had walked instead of run the way back to my mom and when he caught us Carter immediately asked to get out to run. My mom had told him he could get out to run but not until Opa got to them. This was my favorite part of the whole night, watching Carter run. He was so adorable! He loved the bags with glow sticks sitting on the path to light our way and we had a hard time getting him to go around them rather than stomping them as he ran by. He also loved running under the lit arches. Elise got hungry less than a quarter of a mile from the finish so I nursed her as we walked and got enough behind that I missed getting pictures of Carter at the finish which I was bummed about. Each race bib had a tag for an ice cream bar and Oma gave hers to Carter, much to his delight. He worked on his ice cream for a long time.

My dad finishing the race.

Ty running during the race.

My mom pushing Carter in the stroller while carrying Elise.

Elise enjoying the race from the stroller while Carter ran.

Carter is such an awesome runner!

Carter looking at a glowing bag while coming up on a lighted archway.

Carter excited about his ice cream!

We stuck around for awards. Jeremy was our fastest finisher coming in 5th out of 256 runners overall and 1st in his age group with a time of 19:57. I was next to finish in 22:35 good for 16th overall, 3rd overall female, and 1st out of 26 in my age group. Dad came in right behind me with a time of 22:55 putting him 18th overall and 2nd out of 17 in his age group. Ty finished 56th overall and 7th out of 15 in his age group with a time of 27:03. Mom ran/walked with the double stroller, mostly walking and finished 228th overall in 47:53. Another race in the series down, one more to go in August! Maybe I can shave off another minute...

Jeremy crossing the finish line.

Elise went up with me to get my medal.

Jeremy was 1st in his age group.

Dad with his 2nd place age group medal